billgerat
The Harvester of Eyes
Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 12547 |
quote:
Originally posted by Freelance:
Look, it's The French!
ARTHUR: Halt! Hello! Hello!
GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Who's castle is this?
GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard!
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see?
ARTHUR: What?
GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?
GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a (I told him we already got one)
ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English knnnniggets Thppppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!...... I fart in your general direction! . Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
GUARD: Fetche lavache!
GUARD: Quoi?
GUARD: Fetche lavache!
[moo!]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- [twang] [moooooooooooooooooooooooooo] Jesus Christ! Right! Charge!
ALL: Charge!
[Knights charge]
GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother!
[twang]
ALL: Run away!
GUARD: Thpppt!
[after running away...]
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
ARTHUR: No no, no no!
BEDEVERE: Sir! I have a plan, sir.
[later]
[chop saw chop saw]
[rumble rumble squeak]
[Wheeling trojan rabbit up to castle gates]
MUTTERING GUARDS: C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[rumble rumble squeak]
ARTHUR: What happens now?
BEDEVERE: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR: Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE: Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh and uh....
ARTHUR: Oh....
BEDEVERE: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden badger--
[twang]
ALL: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
[splat]
GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw.
------------------------
The Word of the Day is Netop (n.) - Friend (American colonial salutation used in greeting Indians).
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12-09-2000 07:32 PM
