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Asylum Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.8 Asylum Forums > The Lost Forum > What if God was one of us?
If I was God
I would rule the world.
I would stop world hunger.
I would fuck LF hard in the arse.
FUCK YOU!!
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 25592
What if God was one of us?

No seriously.
What IF God was one of us?
That would be fucked up,man.

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EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

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Old Post 05-18-2007 06:01 AM
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Talarohk
The Pedanticator

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 5073

If I were God, I would smite those who failed to use the subjunctive mood properly.

Unless I just did it wrong, in which case I would have to smite myself.

Can God smite Godself so hard that God can't get back up?

(that's how I avoid using gendered pronouns for God. Ha ha!)

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Old Post 05-18-2007 06:33 AM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24302

Where the hell is the "Kill the Bastards" option godammit? FUCK YOU!!

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Old Post 05-18-2007 06:38 AM
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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: summer!
Posts: 10455

i'd make embedding youtube videos possible.

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Time is the fire in which we burn.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 07:58 AM
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cw
cuntacular wench

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 6368

Madness.

One would not need to be a god to do any of the items listed in this poll. This poll is void.


#3

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:25 AM
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Rokkr
cwaestor

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Insatiation
Posts: 8980

I'd turn all the guns into flowers, man.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 11:03 AM
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SimpleSimon
?

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 15982

I'd issue personal nuclear weapons to a random .001% of the worlds population, which only they could detonate, and were immovable from point of issuance.

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"...the last thing somebody crippled wants is your pity—and maybe not even your sympathy—he just wants to be normal again, just like everybody else. Every gesture of caring becomes a slap in the face, a reminder that you are not well. So damn your sympathy, damn your caring, how dare you stand over me, perfect and healthy, and offer your help and your secret condescension.

" - John Varley, Steel Beach

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Old Post 05-18-2007 02:25 PM
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lmposter
In propria persona

Registered: Dec 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 1852

I'd make clothing optional.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 02:36 PM
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MrBig
Pet My Peacock

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: My Own Reality
Posts: 321

quote:
Originally posted by lmposter
I'd make clothing optional.


Dude clothing is already optional... it's just the wrong people pick up that option

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Don't let the bastards grind you down.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 02:42 PM
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lmposter
In propria persona

Registered: Dec 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 1852

quote:
Originally posted by MrBig
Dude clothing is already optional... it's just the wrong people pick up that option


This Deity stuff isn't all that difficult after all.

It's the responsibility of the creation to be responsible with the gifts it's given.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 02:57 PM
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memdink
spasm of violence

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

Just a slob like one of us

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Old Post 05-18-2007 04:44 PM
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PNG
consultation?

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: different
Posts: 5060

i'd show myself to all humans at the same time whisper to their ears in their own language that i exist.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 07:37 PM
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PNG
consultation?

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: different
Posts: 5060

that and i would fuck lf hard in the arse.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 07:38 PM
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MrBig
Pet My Peacock

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: My Own Reality
Posts: 321

quote:
Originally posted by memdink
Just a slob like one of us


Just a stranger on the bus.

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Don't let the bastards grind you down.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 07:41 PM
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Pinecrika
Prophet of Doom

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

I would bring on a hard assed plauge, old testament style. And get myself a bunch of concubines.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:04 PM
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paultheo
gorged

Registered: Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 1438

the fleshly kind? or the gaseous kind?

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:38 PM
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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: summer!
Posts: 10455

i'd make usa less redneck and fat.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:43 PM
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Coincidence
Search & stone drone

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Den
Posts: 10984

1. Disappear all the stupid people so all the nice ones could live together in peace and everybody gets winged kitten familiars.
2. Reinsert all animals made extinct by man.
3. Discontinue toothaches, cars and self censorship.
4. Allow for fun without drinking.
5. Turn all men into slightly mutated women.
6. Let mighty fart sounds ring all over the planet.

This is the apprentice's suggestions.

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"Rav Yehuda says, there are twelve hours in a day. The first three hours God sits and learns the Torah, the second three hours he sits and judges the world.
The third three hours God feeds the entire world... the fourth three hour period God plays with the Leviathan"

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:48 PM
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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: summer!
Posts: 10455

at least you're more realistic than me.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 08:50 PM
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Pinecrika
Prophet of Doom

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

quote:
Originally posted by dogcow
i'd make usa less redneck and fat.


I can see the fat part, but don't be fucking around with the rednecks. We serve our purpose in the scheme of things.

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Easy to pull off!

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Old Post 05-18-2007 09:03 PM
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memdink
spasm of violence

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

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Old Post 05-18-2007 09:34 PM
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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: summer!
Posts: 10455

quote:
Originally posted by Pinecrika
I can see the fat part, but don't be fucking around with the rednecks. We serve our purpose in the scheme of things.


you'd totally enjoy not being a redneck.

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Old Post 05-18-2007 10:24 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 25592

If I was God I would be rolling in 22's and passing out the x and be straight ballin'

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Old Post 05-19-2007 01:04 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
If I was God I would be rolling in 22's and passing out the x and be straight ballin'

Then you must be God, ol' pal. Does that mean I must now call you "Sir", or "Madame"?

Amen.

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Old Post 05-19-2007 07:23 PM
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