Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

this isn't deep or emotional or anything

i spend my life in a haze. it's like it's all here just waiting for me to make sense of it, but i'd rather not. i spend my time getting discombobulated and inebriated rather than thinking. actaully sometimes when i'm thinking, i think of stuff i've never thought of before. then i think that it's probably not new and i'm an idiot. i truly and deeply feel my idiocy. i don't have more than a highschool diploma which i cheated out of my teachers without effort. everything comes to me without effort. i blame my parents/mother for that. my dad died before i was born, so i don't have a whole lot go on as far as he's concerned. we'd all like to talk to our parents more, wouldn't we? haven't talked to a soul yet that wouldn't like some greater form of commune between them and their parents or parent. i heard a t.v. show say that we all need fathers. well, i'm fatherless from the beginning. i came out just fine. i make/made more money at 22 than my mother ever has. i've blown more money than my grandomother has ever had in her possession. that doesn't matter. i'm jobless and a loser, just like the rest of the homeless people in the world.

on the radio tonight i heard a guy say that if he got 85mil, just like bagwell's contract, he'd buy this and that. i'd buy happiness. yes, happiness would come to me. god would sweep down and ask me what is it that i want and i'd tell him, happines. i'd tell him supreme happiness. happiness for anyone that felt me. i'd hope that those that don't feel me wouldn't feel happiness. they'd feel fear. that is until they touched me, then they'd feel it. then they'ed understand. yes. then and there. i'd love to sneak attack the world, like the japanese surprised the hawaiian islands. i would be their atom bomb. i would be their jesus.

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Lou Reed

[This message has been edited by memdink (edited 12-20-2000).]

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Gehenna
Posts: 1018

Whatever you've been smoking, save some for me.

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Snap your fingers. Snap your neck.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: the heart of an awl
Posts: 3691

god dam

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POW!

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

I was feeling a wave of empathy with the first paragraph, mem.
The second, however, was rather enigmatic.

[This message has been edited by absolut (edited 12-20-2000).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

absolut, it is egocentric and enigmatic, but so is the first paragraph. look at all the "i" in there. if i were to continue on complaining and explaining about my poor, small life, i might have squeezed you for a little more pitty, right? but of course, it's bad when i want to be somebody enormous, like jesus. feel no pitty for me.

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Lou Reed

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