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aminal
incomplete

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

Post American Test

this is a joke please do not kick off a whole new anti-us thread *prays to god*

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?
(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away
(b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision
(c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering
pumped-up inbreds on national television.

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?
(a) A ball
(b) A ball and 2 coats
(c) A ball 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheerleaders,
a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a
team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive
(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly
(c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering,
whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?
(a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses
(b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things.
(c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer
in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst
screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering
inbreds.

5. What do you have for breakfast?
(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea
(b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee
(c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs
sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles,
five corn dogs and a diet root beer.

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?
(a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office
(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel
(c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las
Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
(a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass.
(b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or
join a youth club.
(c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic
weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose?
(a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted
(b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show
(c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where
the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with
a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a
lightweight wisecrack.

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do?
(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt
(b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again
(c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and
sue your wife's ass.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:
(a) Count all votes and declare a winner
(b) Count all votes and declare a winner
(c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted;
then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline
whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville,
has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by
mistake', then force a recount of only some of the votes within just
one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place;
then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and
increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes
and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all
support the same candidate; then ponce around the world telling other
countries how to run their own elections.


Answers...
If you answered:
mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced
individual.mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself
with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up
truck.

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:13 PM
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Mr Snrub
Machine Gun Joe Viterbo

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Sydney, Straya mate
Posts: 346

Post

yeah, america sux and all americans are fat dumb and rich.

------------------------
When i grow up, i want to be a bad ass ghetto pimp!

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:15 PM
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Roshigoth
The Cheesemeister

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15124

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Snrub:
yeah, america sux and all americans are fat dumb and rich.



I wish I was rich. I'm only fat and dumb.

------------------------
A goth midget.
Graphic Cheeseworks.

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:19 PM
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JoeyCat
Felis Dominatus

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

Post

aminal, if it's to be a true American test, take those silly brit word out!

------------------------
=^..^=

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:24 PM
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Fiend
batshit crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10157

Post


1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?
(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away
(b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision
(c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering
pumped-up inbreds on national television.

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?
(a) A ball
(b) A ball and 2 coats
(c) A ball 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheerleaders,
a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a
team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive

(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly
(c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering,
whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?
(a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses
(b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things.
(c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer
in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst
screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering
inbreds.

5. What do you have for breakfast?
(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea
(b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee
(c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs
sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles,
five corn dogs and a diet root beer.
(d)nothing, sorry i don't eat breakfast

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?
(a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office
(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel
(c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las
Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
(a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass.
(b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or
join a youth club.
(c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic
weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose?
(a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted
(b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show, even tho i have never heard either of these
(c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where
the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with
a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a
lightweight wisecrack.

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do?
(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt
(b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again
(c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and
sue your wife's ass.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:
(a) Count all votes and declare a winner
(b) Count all votes and declare a winner
(c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted;
then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline
whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville,
has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by
mistake', then force a recount of only some of the votes within just
one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place;
then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and
increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes
and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all
support the same candidate; then ponce around the world telling other
countries how to run their own elections.


Answers...
If you answered:
mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced
individual.mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself
with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up
truck

i know it was a joke but i answered them anyways


------------------------
ManHo Inc.®©

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:25 PM
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HELL
euphorbia's bad side

Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

Post

quote:
Originally posted by aminal:
this is a joke please do not kick off a whole new anti-us thread *prays to god*

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?.




(b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision

quote:

(2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?[/B]


(a) A ball and some beer


quote:

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?[/B]


(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive then after it gets better take it home and name it gimpy.

quote:

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?[/B]


(a) beer and asprine.

quote:

5. What do you have for breakfast?[/B]


(a) coffee


quote:

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?[/B]


(a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office

quote:

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do??[/B]



(a) take him to the homeless shelter and other places and tell him if he doesnt get his shit together he will wind up like that.

quote:


8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose???[/B]


(a) the nightly news.

quote:


9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do????[/B]


(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt


quote:

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:?[/B]


(a) dont get me started.....

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:31 PM
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Mudflap
I.R. Jailer

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Smith County
Posts: 1366

Post

quote:
Originally posted by aminal:
this is a joke please do not kick off a whole new anti-us thread *prays to god*

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?
(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away
(b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision
(c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering
pumped-up inbreds on national television.
(d) Kill your partner and cash in on life insurance policy


2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?
(a) A ball
(b) A ball and 2 coats
(c) A ball 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheerleaders,
a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a
team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.
We don't play football with our mates. Besides, you make (c) sound like it's a bad thing.

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive
(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly
(c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering,
whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.
None of the above. Running over the rabbit was NOT an accident.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?
(a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses. Also make a mental note not to share my bed with your wife.
(b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things.
(c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer
in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst
screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering
inbreds.


5. What do you have for breakfast?
(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea
(b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee
(c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs
sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles,
five corn dogs and a diet root beer.
Again, you make (c) sound like its a BAD thing!

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?
(a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office
(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel
(c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las
Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.
Marriage? Strange concept.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
(a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass.
(b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or
join a youth club.
(c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic
weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.
Beat the fuck out of the little punk for behaving like some toothless Brit. Set him back on the straight and narrow, resume life.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose?
(a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted
(b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show
(c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where
the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with
a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a
lightweight wisecrack.
(d) WWF Smack Down.

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do?
(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt. Also known as "cussing."
(b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again
(c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and
sue your wife's ass.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:
(a) Count all votes and declare a winner
(b) Count all votes and declare a winner
(c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted;
then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline
whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville,
has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by
mistake', then force a recount of only some of the votes within just
one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place;
then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and
increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes
and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all
support the same candidate; then ponce around the world telling other
countries how to run their own elections.
(d) Find solace in the fact our ancestors had sense enough to separate from a nation governed by an oppressive, inbred monarchy.

Answers...
If you answered:
mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced
individual.mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself
with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up
truck.


------------------------
Joeycat is my mom.

[This message has been edited by Mudflap (edited 12-01-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Mudflap (edited 12-01-2000).]

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:47 PM
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MadBomber
¤¬=(©)

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 1353

Post


1. You decide that the relationship with
your partner is over. How do you break the
news you are leaving?
leave in the midle of the night and get
a restraining order so I can sue her if she
tries to find me
2. You and your mates decide to have a game
of football in the park.
american football or english football?
3. You are driving along a country road when
you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do?
call 911 and scream "officer down,
officer down!!"
4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff
neck after sleeping in an awkward position.
What do you do?
I hit my toes with a hammer ...
5. What do you have for breakfast?
this morning? a large coffee with lots
of cream and sugar, and 20 minutes at the
urinal
6. You and your partner decide to take the
plunge and get married. What sort of
ceremony do you have?
http://www.lasvegassun.com/from.ed/1998/oct/29/photos/P000024031.jpg
7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a
difficult phase, becoming disruptive at
school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
make him wear girls underpants
8. You fancy a night in watching something
funny on TV. What kind of comedy do you
choose?
JackAss rules
9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub
your toe on your wife's dressing table. What
do you do?
smash the fucking thing to bits ..
10. You are responsible for the USA's
presidential electoral process. Do you:
I'm resposible? not me friend .. you have the wrong guy here.

------------------------
¤¬=(©) .. boOM!!

[edit]one of these days I'll get it right

[This message has been edited by MadBomber (edited 12-01-2000).]

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Old Post 12-01-2000 11:50 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

Post

quote:
Originally posted by AlcoholSoopaFiend:

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive

(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly
(c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering,
whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.



You are so full of shit.

What about the half a dozen moose carcasses we left in our wake on our journey to Virginia and back?

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Old Post 12-02-2000 12:38 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

Post

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How do you break the news you are leaving?

You burn the place down with her in it!

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park. What do you need to take?

Two aspirin

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do?

You back over it again just to make sure!

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position. What do you do?

You take care of your other stiffy first!

5. What do you have for breakfast?

That rabbit you ran over.

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married. What sort of ceremony do you have?

That secret Hindu ceremony where your wife slowly blows you for 2 hours.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?

You take away his condoms!

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of comedy do you choose?

The 2000 Presidential Elections!


9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's dressing table. What do you do?

You lift up the dressing table and slam it on your wife's head.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral process. What do you do now?

You seek citizenship elsewhere!

[This message has been edited by GoFuckYourselves! (edited 12-01-2000).]

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Old Post 12-02-2000 12:51 AM
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gone away
inclement

Registered: Nov 2000
Location: toronto
Posts: 236

Post

1. (a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away

2.(a) A ball

3.(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive

4.(a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses

5.(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea

6.(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel

7.(b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or
join a youth club.

8.(a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted

9.(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt

10.(a) Count all votes and declare a winner

All As and Bs.... IM NORMAL

im also canadian so there was never any doubt

------------------------
eat shit... cuz its cheap

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Old Post 12-02-2000 01:18 AM
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Spaceboy
Oblivious poster.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

Post

There should be a Fishnation test.
Spice be with you.

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Old Post 12-02-2000 01:46 AM
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memdink
spasm of violence

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

Post

quote:
Originally posted by aminal:
this is a joke please do not kick off a whole new anti-us thread *prays to god*

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?
(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away
(b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision
(c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering
pumped-up inbreds on national television.

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?
(a) A ball
(b) A ball and 2 coats
(c) A ball 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheerleaders,
a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a
team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries.

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it
is still alive
(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly
(c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering,
whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?
(a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses
(b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things.
(c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer
in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst
screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering
inbreds.

5. What do you have for breakfast?
(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea
(b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee
(c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs
sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles,
five corn dogs and a diet root beer.

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?
(a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office
(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel
(c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las
Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
(a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass.
(b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or
join a youth club.
(c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic
weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose?
(a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted
(b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show
(c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where
the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with
a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a
lightweight wisecrack.

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do?
(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt
(b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again
(c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and
sue your wife's ass.

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:
(a) Count all votes and declare a winner
(b) Count all votes and declare a winner
(c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted;
then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline
whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville,
has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by
mistake', then force a recount of only some of the votes within just
one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place;
then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and
increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes
and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all
support the same candidate; then ponce around the world telling other
countries how to run their own elections.


Answers...
If you answered:
mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced
individual.mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself
with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up
truck.



haha!

p.s. i think quoting long posts should be manditory.

------------------------
marbles

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Old Post 12-24-2000 12:51 AM
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Caffeine
Caffeine

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

Post

Same thing with bumping month old threads back to the top, eh?

quote:
Originally posted by memdink:
haha!

p.s. i think quoting long posts should be manditory.






------------------------
Will accept plush toys as bribes.

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Old Post 12-24-2000 01:22 AM
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Rabble Rouser
Eight legged freak

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: where the buses don't run
Posts: 1002

Post

quote:
Originally posted by aminal:

1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How do you break the news you are leaving?

(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away.

I express my feelings better in writing.

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park. What do you need to take?

Hahahaha...like I'd play football.

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do?

(a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it is still alive

I like bunnies.

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position. What do you do?

(c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faith healer in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head, whilst screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering inbreds.

I just want to fuck them over by disagreeing with everything they say.

5. What do you have for breakfast?

(a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea

No tea, but cereal works.

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married. What sort of ceremony do you have?

(c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis.

I want it to be fun!

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?.

(c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi-automatic
weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town.


I told you I'd be a horrible parent.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of comedy do you choose?

No...tv bad.

9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's dressing table. What do you do?

(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt

I'd eventually move the table...but it would take me a few broken bones to actually do it. And it would be my husband's.


10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral process. Do you:

(a) Count all votes and declare a winner

Doesn't seem like that difficult a process.

Answers...
If you answered:
mostly (a)'s & (b)'s then you are a normal well-balanced
individual.mostly (c)'s then do the world a favour and shoot yourself
with the anti-tank weapon you carry in the glove-box of your pick-up
truck.[/B]




------------------------
"You did it, Nibbles! Now, nibble through my ball sack!" - Principal Skinner.

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Old Post 12-24-2000 02:29 AM
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Jingle Jangles
Exodus 18:11

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Rafael
Posts: 520

Thumbs up



1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How
do you break the news you are leaving?
(a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away

2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park.
What do you need to take?
(D) A ball 2 coats and 20 cheerleaders

3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run
over a rabbit. What do you do?
(b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it
died quickly

4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an
awkward position. What do you do?
(d) Take a couple of vicadins and get on with things.

5. What do you have for breakfast?
(d) A bowl of frosted flakes and frosted mini wheats and a glass of juice

6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married.
What sort of ceremony do you have?
(b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel

7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming
disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do?
(a) Don't worry. Its just a phase and will pass.

8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of
comedy do you choose?
(d) Seinfeld or Johnny Bravo


9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's
dressing table. What do you do?
(a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt

10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral
process. Do you:
(d) vote and watch as the person you voted for loses



------------------------
alpine reliant, police defiant, kentucky fried and popeyes #1 client

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Old Post 12-24-2000 02:43 AM
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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18829

Post

Gaddamit, Big Al and I are seriously considering getting married at The Elvis Chapel of Eternal Love.

------------------------
Don't argue with me.

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Old Post 12-24-2000 03:16 AM
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SocialParasite
100% pure failtanium.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18506

Post

He told me he thought we were selling out, laying down, sucking up to the man.

------------------------
"Your experiment this week, Joel, is called Pod People. It has nothing to do with pods, it has nothing to do with people, it has everything to do with *hurting*." - Dr. Forrester, MST3K

"Living is just the process of preparing to be dead for a very long time." - Faulkner

I'd sell my soul, my self-esteem a dollar at a time for one kiss, one chance, one taste of you, my Magdalena.

Follow for now, and follow for this, because everybody follows for nothing at all.

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Old Post 12-24-2000 03:38 AM
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JoeyCat
Felis Dominatus

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

Post

quote:
Originally posted by wonderaz:
Gaddamit, Big Al