Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 2104

And to think I'll be in this town next week...

My buddy posted this on another board, I thought everyone might get a kick out of it and here some good thoughts at the end. I'll be Goose hunting with him in about a week.

quote:

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A good friend of mine (Steve) takes it upon himself every year to put on a realistic Nativity. He has a ranch near here complete with sheep, goats, cows , donkeys, etc, etc, etc... This year was no exception. He even had some family members bring extra animals, to what has become quite an event here in El Campo. People bring children to see what the first Christmas must have been like….Little did they know they were about to get a double portion of realism this year. hehe
All the animal are gentle so children can safely approach them to experience the smells, and sounds of what the stable where Jesus was born must have been like. One of the stars of the show is a jackass named Jack. This year Jack was in rare form because one of Steve’s nephews had brought a mare that was in heat. And they had positioned the hot little filly just up wind from Jack. Here is where the story gets interesting.

We all knew we were in trouble when Jack set into braying and wouldn’t stop. What happened next was the funniest thing I think I have ever seen….A jackass has a dick that is about two feet long. Unfortunately for Jack the filly was a good ten feet away. But he was doing his best to reach her with his now two and a half foot black donkey dick. He was slinging from side to side, slapping it on the side of his belly, and humping air.....It gets better.

Mothers were trying to shield their children’s eyes, young boys were giggling, and Jack’s handler was trying to pull him away from the filly. And she was enjoying all the attention. She kept whiffing her tail in Jack’s direction, fanning the flames you might say. Steve, a knowledgeable horse-man knew what was about to happen and told the crowd to back away. hehe About this time Jack could no longer contain his desire. And just unloaded about a quart of slime right in front of Baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and half the people in El Campo… (hence the term Jacking off)…. Gasps, calling the Lord’s name in vain, and embarrassed giggles were followed by roaring laughter and yes, even applause.....

Some of you might find this story inappropriate for the holiest of all the days of Christian dome. But I don’t. I think it only illustrates the fact that Jesus was born a simple man. Under the conditions that only a stable could bring. I think we sometimes want to put “our” Jesus in a clean Church, away from the nasty things in every day life, and keep him there. But if you think about, and study what the Bible has to say about Jesus the opposite is true. He led a simple life, surrounded himself with not so ordinary people. ( whores, thieves, the slow of whit, and the working class) He taught things that at the time made no since at all: Like the first will be last, the last will be first, love your enemy as you love yourself and neighbor.

I believe Jesus was the Son of God. But even if you don’t there is a lesson to be learned about the first Christmas, in that stable, and the way He lived his life.

Merry Christmas, from Billy

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CAL


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"The desert is my church, and hunting is my god."

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I would have loved to have seen that crowd's reation!

:snort:

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post·mod·ern
post·mod·ern or post-mod·ern (pst-mdrn)
adj.
Of or relating to art, architecture, or literature that reacts against earlier modernist principles, as by reintroducing traditional or classical elements of style or by carrying modernist styles or practices to extremes

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: UK
Posts: 4738

Cool story, although I don't care much for the religious overtones. Still a cool story.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: State of Denial
Posts: 1468

good story Cal! haha


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"You're all pathetic in your own way!!"

I can't bring myself to hate you as I'd like.

Laugh now, cry later!!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

It's too bad Jack didn't land a big, gooey, slimy white glob on baby Jesus. But still , that's one crowd-pleaser of a show.

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"Daddy?" "Yes, son?" "What does regret mean?" "Well son, a funny thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN!"

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