Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

FNORD!!!

Western Union Telegram

To: Jehova Yahweh Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666) Presidential
Tier, Paradise

Dear God; This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP
Please do not use me for a reference STOP

Respectfully, Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
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A ZEN STORY
by Camden Benares,
The Count of Five Headmaster,
Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the
moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead." Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

[This message has been edited by Postmodgirl (edited 01-02-2001).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

I have come to tell you that you are free
Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself.
I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.

I am chaos.
I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.


ALL HAIL ERIS http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/prin1.htm

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

[This message has been edited by Postmodgirl (edited 01-02-2001).]

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Denver
Posts: 1277

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3030303

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Gehenna
Posts: 1018

DON'T PANIC! *different set of books...but appropriate nonetheless*

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FUELED BY HATE

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Registered: Dec 2000
Location: lousy-anna
Posts: 116

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shadow23:

---

What he said




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I need to DRINK MORE BURKINA FASO!! !

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

Who IS "Bob"?

While yet the least approachable or scrutable of the vast SubGenius membership, he is the preeminent and most frequently invoked of the god-zillion Personal Saviors of the SubGenius. While he remains an anonymous executive shunning publicity or recognition at a faceless multinational corporation, he is nevertheless The Most Ascended Master, the original Retriever of Jehovah's Message on Earth and basic model of the Archetype SubGenius. He set the "anti-pattern" of random conduct among all those who are now practicing SubGeniuses. His are the defects and peccadillos that we 'analize,' his the Slongs and Jests which we devotedly twist and distort for future generations according to our unexplored whims. - And yet the only photos of him that exist are grainy frame blow-ups from Grade Z movie thrillers in which he played bit parts!
Dobbs is, of course, the ultimate symbol of SubGeniusness, but despite/because of his infrahuman mediumship he possesses one single failing above and beyond all other shortcomings: his omninclusive FOLLIES. Yet where they would be crippling stubbing-blocks for another person, in Dobbs they loom stranger-than-life. His ten billion all-too-human quasimodalities embody, in some cheaply symbolic way, all the Foibles of the Primate Race. Dobbs is a miacrocosm encapsulating the imperfektions of the so-called 'human condition;' his Blunders and Idiocies, errors and inadvertencies are perhaps more sacrosanct, more deserving of analitization than even his hallowed salesmanship.
None of "Bob's" words or deeds are particularly spectacular: their holiness lies in their nondescript but inviolable triviality. As Dobbs once 'spouted,' "The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is."

http://subgenius.com

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Denver
Posts: 1277

Feeling especially absurdist this evening, PMG?

Only 6 months and 3 days to XXXX-Day!

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3030303

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Denver
Posts: 1277

Since ya got me started poking around this stuff again...

Found an interesting article here.

The rest of the site is pretty amusing, too.
*adds bookmark*

Wonder how long this synchronistic kick in the ass will bounce around my universe this time around...

(btw, one of my nutcase friends was telling me just the other day how RA Wilson actually did die a few years ago, and the continuing updates to his site are a CIA hoax! Sheesh.)

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3030303

[This message has been edited by Shadow23 (edited 01-02-2001).]

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

CHiPsJr is a card carrying member of the Church of the SubGenius, BTW.

I think he can marry people.

But I'd imagine the ceremony would be pretty weird.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
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the most IMPORTANT BOOK YOU WILL EVER READ:

Principia Discordia

or

How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I found Her

being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees

Which is Most Interesting
as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold and HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)

~~~~~

The POEE Baptismal Rite

This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.

1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.

2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.

3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:

1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING?
The Initiate answers YES.

2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF?
The Initiate answers YES.

3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?
He answers YES.

4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?
The Initiate answers PROBABLY.

5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME: (The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)
The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!

4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present.

5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.




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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said

YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion!
O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL THEN, STOP.


At which moment She turned herself into an asprin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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NONSENSE AS SALVATION

The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously.

To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.

To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.

And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris.


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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

Uh.....hmmm....er...boy, do I feel enlightened.

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Here????? Now??????

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GREYFACE

In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.

The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering froma psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now.

It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA (PMG Highlighted version)
This being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; which revised the 2nd
Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of "PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST" published in New Orleans in 1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost.

If you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again.

(K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like

http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/prin1.htm


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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

[This message has been edited by Postmodgirl (edited 01-02-2001).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

http://www.rawilson.com

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El lobo pierde los dientes más no las mientes.
The wolf loses his teeth, not his nature.
- Mexican-American saying

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

PMG, I think I love you.

It is rare for me to cross paths with conscious Erisians. Of course, eristic avatars are all over the place, but they don't know who they are (by definition.)

melon is the best discordian soldier I've ever met. If the whole world was like him, it would be really different.

Of course, if the whole world was like him, greyface would be pretty pissed off, to say the least.



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Boomer Bible: Find it, Read it, Learn it, Live it, Love it. I mean this!

ttp://boomerbible.com/BBFAC.html

All hail Eris! All hail Discordia!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 7685

Disordianism is for pussies.

Hyper discordia is where it's at!
(be sure to click on the banners to support the site)

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No turkish prison can hold me. But you may for a price.

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