Freelance
Cuddly Puppy
Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Nanaimo BC, Canada
Posts: 1525 |
Ripped off from www.shewantsitbad.net
Interesting bits in BOLD.
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She Wants It Bad
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Picture a lady who is having no luck finding a date. This does not mean she is doing anything wrong. It's just that the guys aren't where she goes. Days drag into weeks and months.
Now picture that same lady living on a planet where radio stations are dedicated to the mission of blaring out musical renditions telling, in full glorious detail, how sweet it is to have a mate. One song after another, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 366 days in a leap year, thousands of radio stations, all over the world. Add a subliminal touch, such as a drum beat calculated to mimic a pounding heart, and you get the idea.
Now let's say this lady phones one of those radio stations and, lo and behold, she is caller number 8, with the correct answer. She wins a pair of concert tickets. She tells a new temp at the office of her good fortune, requesting the honour of his company, and he yells nasty things at her.
Now picture this lady on the 366th day of continuous songs telling how sweet it is to have a mate. It is 23:59:53 as she stands under an electronic billboard displaying a figure 7. She ought to be eagerly anticipating the climax of the nightlong celebration, but to her, that chronometer, which the technicians have so carefully synchronized against an atomic clock, represents the dwindling number of seconds remaining in yet another year. It's New Year's Eve at seven seconds to midnight, and all she can think about is how she doesn't have a date like "everybody" else. And one thing is certain, time will march on.
It is now T zero, the stroke of midnight, U.S. Naval Observatory time, and all these thousands of people will fulfill the purpose for which they have assembled upon the city square. With all the mathematical precision of rocket scientists launching the Space Shuttle, they simultaneously explode in one intense, spectacular wave of euphoria, and immediately begin cuddling, kissing, everywhere she turns, people are gleefully hugging and even dancing in the streets. It is "a time to embrace" (Ecclesiastes 3:5). So close, but so far away.
She starts to ponder, if she were to get into her motorcar and speed 150 kilometers per hour into a bridge abutment, who would care? Everybody is too busy celebrating to give a damn. And she realizes that nobody would care, except for a small handful of municipal employees, and the only reason even they would care...
...is because they would have to clean up the mess!
The government's "solution" to despair is to dispatch the dreaded men in the white suits. They won't take her away, kicking and screaming. Of course not! First they'll put her in restraints, so she can't kick or scream. What better way to brighten up her day and make her glad to be alive, than to lock her up in a mental institution? That is pathetic.
There is a better way. Most likely, she is not the only one on the city square who feels that way. Most likely, somewhere in that crowd, there's a guy whose girlfriend just ditched him, a guy her age, who would be willing to accept her surplus affection gladly, if only the social barriers to their making it happen could be eliminated.
We think the antidepressants that say "Shake Well Before Opening" can't possibly work as well as the kind that say, "Let's go see a movie."
First of all, if you're a teenaged choir girl, unimpressed with the guys you meet at the dances at the church hall, and you're looking for a guy your age to go to the movies and kiss goodnight, you're in the wrong place. Try She Wants It. In that case, "it" may just be good, healthy affection and company.
This page is for the ladies who aren't so picky, that is, those who are more tolerant of the perceived shortcomings of their prospective dates. Some of them may be wallowing in the depths of despair. Some of them may even be so desperate they'll settle for a smoker. And that's really scraping the bottom of the barrel. And, yes, it is only for ladies who are looking for a guy.
[This guy is seriously messed up. Am I the only one that sees subliminal messages in that text?]
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Anger=Red
[This message has been edited by Freelance (edited 01-03-2001).]
[This message has been edited by Freelance (edited 01-03-2001).]
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And people complained about Ice-T?
01-03-2001 06:21 AM
