Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

Mom's Pithy sayings

My Mom loves pithy quotes. She has one for every occasion.

It's like having a demented hallmark card for a mom

So I thought you all would be slightly amused by the sayings of:::

~PMG's Mom~


Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either....
Just leave me the hell alone!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air.
It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Always remember you're unique.
Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience;
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse.

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...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

Your mom sounds an awful lot like my mom.

Are you my sister?

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I only want your happiness, knowing I can never be yours to share it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

um.....


yes

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...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

So, you have a tail too then?

Glad I am no longer alone.

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I only want your happiness, knowing I can never be yours to share it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3102

hahahhahahaaa!!!!! that'd crack me up if my dad said shit like that all the time! he's pretty crazy as it is though...

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stinkycat - i love you

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

why yes, yes I do!

/me wags tail at Chantrea!



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...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

My mom...
"You sell acid?!! Can I have some??"

"No, I didnt try and fuck your boyfriend. He is lying." (said three times about three different guys.)

"We are always being watched by the FBI. They tap our phones, follow us around, and sometimes pretend to be our friends trying to find out where your uncle is."

"I dont know what happened to all your money."

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 2109

MYOB = Mind Your Own Business

God helps those who help themselves

Women, 99.9% of them are crazy as the day is long... (oh, that one's mine... hehe)

CAL



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"The desert is my church, and hunting is my god."

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

~top ~

cos this is about my MOM!!!!

She works in the psyche ward at a local hospital.

It's a 3 day outpaitent ward for folks who temporally or permanently loose their minds. They either stay & are released or go on to ..... an Asylum

MOM!
(whom I like to call Nurse Ratchet)

She has more stories about nekkidd old women with underwear on their heads than ANYONE I know!

pay tribute to my Mom!!!

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...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

[edit- morning fuckup]


[This message has been edited by Postmodgirl (edited 02-09-2001).]

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

PMG...
I'll never look at your mom the same way again.
And those giant Santa Voodoo dolls in the kitchen still scare me.

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Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
----
Send me thine daughters and wives willingly and by first class mail, for I hate waiting 4 to 6 weeks! - Straightman

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

.... When did we have Santa VooDoo dolls ANYWHERE?

refresh my memory

------------------------
...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

Your mom, or dad was semi partners with someone who was making life sized father christmas dolls or something. They were actually pretty cool. You used to have one right by the kitchen at your old house by the high school.

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Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
----
Send me thine daughters and wives willingly and by first class mail, for I hate waiting 4 to 6 weeks! - Straightman

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

OH YAH!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I forgot about that (or blocked it out)...

that never did take off, what a shock.

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...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Canton, Illinois
Posts: 923

quote:

---

Originally posted by HELL:
My mom...
"You sell acid?!! Can I have some??"

"No, I didnt try and fuck your boyfriend. He is lying." (said three times about three different guys.)

"We are always being watched by the FBI. They tap our phones, follow us around, and sometimes pretend to be our friends trying to find out where your uncle is."

"I dont know what happened to all your money."

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

quote:

---

Originally posted by Danielle:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

you had three boyfriends that your mother tried to fuck by the age of 8 and a half?

quote:

---

Originally posted by HELL:
I laugh now, but the two and a half years I knew her (since I was six) it was like a bad acid trip.

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
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quote:

---

Originally posted by Caffeine:
you had three boyfriends that your mother tried to fuck by the age of 8 and a half?

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

damn her.

damn her to HELL.

quote:

---

Originally posted by HELL:
heh
no, I left her when I was six and I found her again when I was 22 years old.
One was my ex-boyfriend.
[This message has been edited by HELL (edited 02-09-2001).]

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
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quote:

---

Originally posted by Caffeine:
damn her.

damn her to HELL.

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

My mom smoked pot once....

She's real embarased about it.

and boy do my brothers and I give her shit

------------------------
...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

quote:

---

Originally posted by Postmodgirl:
My mom smoked pot once....

She's real embarased about it.

and boy do my brothers and I give her shit

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

so what you're saying is that its a family buisness?

er um....

yea

------------------------
...And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7148

i feel like i'm watching the internet version of jerry springer...

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Not everything is love, and not everything in this place is either forgiven or forgotten. - redguard@blackvault.com

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