Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10380

a confession...

Me and bunkum have been hiding something and I think it's time to come clean.

We are siblings, actually half-siblings. We share the same mother, however bunkums father is an ex-priest who knocked up mom when she was 12. Mom gave me a list of 17 people who could potentially be my father but i still have no idea.. My grandma claims my grandpa is my dad and my uncle but he beats me every time i bring it up.

Anyways, i'm not really posting this because i feel guilty of deception, I am posting this in hopest my dear bunkum will see it and come to her senses.

You see, bunkum and I became very close as we grew up, so close in fact that we fell in love... or so i believed. We grew up experimenting with each others bodies and now I know my sister so well i could work her 3 or 4 times in 15 minutes, and she can do me likewise. After so many years of intimate bonding the mere sound of her voice drove me wild. Naturally, I was ecstatic when she told me she was pregnant, a child is such a beautiful gift it only makes sense to keep it in the family. I took up a second job in the coal mines so I could surprise her with an engagement ring. I wanted to ask her to marry me at our family pig-roast, and I tried like a son-of-a-hick not to tell anyone but I was too excited to keep it in. I told my sister-cousin Rose, who I am also very close to, about bunkums pregnancy and my plans to propose. I shouldve know she couldnt keep her mouth shut, it seems she told half the family within an hour.

That night I was in bed with my great aunt Gertrude when we were absolutely started by a shotgun blast shattering the window. I looked out the window and saw grandpa with a bottle of Wild Turkey in his hand. I shouted "Grandpa, you know better than ta drink on duty!". You see, grandpa is the sheriff and he's not supposed to drink whiskey on the job anymore on account of that poacher he locked in a freezer at Elmers Meat Market thinking it was a jail cell. "You ainta takin my woman, y'hear me you sonofabitch?! I'm marryin her tunite yasee!". At first I was kinda lost, what does he mean takin his woman? He's been with his stepdaughter Jean for years. Then it hit me, bunkum. But she wouldnt do that to me, would she? I was so upset I couldnt even perform with Gertrude that night, instead she held me and tickled my anus to help cheer me up, however while it was relaxing I was still heartbroken.

I didn't see bunkum until the pig-roast. She came in arm and arm with grandpa and when she caught a glimpse of me she flashed her wedding ring. It was beautiful, I bet he had Clem (the mechanic/gunsmith) make it out of real stainless steel. I was so distraught I had to leave. My niece Henry tried to follow me out, but I wasnt in the mood for sex. I was so frustrated I went out to the barn and muffed Lily (my favorite lamb) like I never had before. It made me feel better at the time but it didnt heal my broken heart.

I suppose I brought this whole situation on myself, when bunkum asked me if it would be ok if she did a shoot with grandpa for http://www.realfamilyincest.com i had no problem with it. Had i known they'd elope i never wouldve okd it. I cant live without my dear bunkum. I want to marry her and settle in with Gertrude in her double-wide and live a normal family life together. I can compromise, grandpa can have her a couple times a week, but he's been married to half the family already and its not fair that he steals my bride too! Please people tell bunkum to reconsider, she's making a mistake!

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Gehenna
Posts: 1018

Bunkum, you're making a mistake. Dingle has quite clearly lost his mind. no one cares as long as he keeps working, though. It's your duty to placate him until the last ounce of his ability has been leeched from him. No expense will be spared to make the cell the two of you will have to occupy as luxurious as any 12x12x6 space ever has been.

It's for the best, you know. Dingle is a genius, but he's just not right. Give it up for the cause, babe. I will personally see to it that the Pope blesses your Union.

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What you would kill to see brings out the GOD in me.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19384

BUNKUM!!!!
You could raise CHEEEEEEKINS!!!!
Lil peepers everywhere eh?
Come on, do it! It's worth considering, you know he won't even remember saying this by Monday, so you can do what you want after then. Hell, tell him he borrowed a bunch of money from ya, he'll pay it back!


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Don't argue with me.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

Dingle = freak

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5722

quote:

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Originally posted by HELL:
Dingle = freak

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HELL, I'm shocked! Dingle pours his heart out to us and this it the reaction you give him? Well, Dingle, rest assured, I am on your side and behind you 53%! Actually, that's not a bad behind While I'm back here...


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=^..^=

[This message has been edited by Joeycat (edited 02-10-2001).]

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18926

*spits a loogie in the spitoon*

Bu-n-kum, dear, I reckon it'd be best for the family if'n you'd go back to that hunk of cousin-brother-nephew-grandson love that I call Dingle. He could pro-vide a better life'n I could. I mean, alls I c'n do is raise these here chick'ens . . . Ya see what I mean?

Sure, the sex was the best sex a man could ever have with his great granddaughter-niece-sister-cousin-grandma-aunt-duaghter-in-law, but Dingle can do so much better.

I guess this is goodbye, hun.

Oh, I do get to keep the trailer, just so'n you know.

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Have a good day, and if you feel like subjecting your genitals to high doses of x-ray radiation I'm sure the world will kindly thank you.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2566

Hahaha dingle was drunk and posting again last night?

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its like getting the prize out of the cereal box

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10380

i didnt write this, i swear...

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: WDM, IA
Posts: 2963

Well, if you're name was "tack" you'd probably say it was your brother or a friend who wrote it.

Right tack?

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"Breaker of UBB code, worldwide..."

-Anth3m- is my bitch. You can find more information about -Anth3m- by viewing my profile.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

Say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you'll be forgiven.

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A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

Dear Dingle,
Things aren't working out so well with Grandpa. Will you take me back? I managed to swipe the car keys to his El Camino, and also got a hold of his tanning supplies. We could open up our own hide business!

I love you always!
bunkum

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Deny closure. Honor ambiguity.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19384

quote:

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Originally posted by bunkum:
Dear Dingle,
Things aren't working out so well with Grandpa. Will you take me back? I managed to swipe the car keys to his El Camino, and also got a hold of his tanning supplies. We could open up our own hide business!

I love you always!
bunkum

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10380

best thread ever?

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Registered: Oct 2002
Location:
Posts: 1293

nope. hottest thread ever.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6514

i have known better

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18496

Senator, I knew better...

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 10859

Dingle is always welcome in Idaho now.

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Registered: Dec 2006
Location: In an apartment
Posts: 1910

I have tears in my eyes, holy crap that was hillarious. No disrespect and all that of course. (Also rather arrousing, I am so ashamed of myself )

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 10859

quote:

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Originally posted by jazebelle
(Also rather arrousing, I am so ashamed of myself )

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Registered: Dec 2006
Location: In an apartment
Posts: 1910

That reminds me I owe you tit shots.

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Registered: Dec 2006
Location: In an apartment
Posts: 1910

It'll have to wait till I get home! I wont risk it at work.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 10859

I can wait.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

Sorry to kill the fantasies, but it just didn't work out with Dingle and I. He wasn't open to interfamily swinging. :- (

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Registered: May 2002
Location:
Posts: 9138

quote:

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Originally posted by The Wraith
Well, if you're name was "tack" you'd probably say it was your brother or a friend who wrote it.

Right tack?

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