Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me
Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26420 |
quote:
Originally posted by Phukette:
...
Whoa.
First of all, no you are not off base posting that here, at least as far as as netiquette is concerned. You may be off base posting it in terms of relationship ettiquette though. And regardless, I would suspect (as do you) that Anti is going to go fucking batshit when he sees this thread.
That said, I'll comment on your post, but realize I fully understand this is a totally one-sided perspective of the issue that I am being handed here, and one thing I've learned about commenting on relationship issues brought up in forums is this: There is ALWAYS another side to the story, and quite often, that other side is much more interesting.
For one, realize that we haven't seen Anti around all that much since the big conflict between us and the site. That has all been smoothed out between all parties mind you, but since then he has gotten his own site together and thus we don't see him around all that much for the most part. Very few of us talk to him frequently anymore. The last time he was around frequently and maintained a heavy presence was during that whole Emma thing. Thus, when a nick appears such as "Phukette", which implies nothing but that it is Anti's girlfriend, many will assume it is Emma, as that is the last we heard of his love life. Thus, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is an honest mistake, and people make it not to be rude and not because Anti is an online whore (though he is, ask Dingle), but because that is just the best guess given how little we know of Anti's life since he left here.
So don't worry about that too much.
That said, in every instance that I've seen somebody mistake you for her, Anti posts quite clearly and definitivly that you are not Emma, you are his girlfriend. Isn't that what you want? I'm not quite sure what else you ask of him. Do you want him to start a thread telling us all everything about you and your relationship with him? That seems a bit silly. I understand where he is coming from on that. I have a girlfriend who frequents this place as well. And frankly, while she doesn't always agree, I don't like talking about our relationship online. I'm not entirely sure why, it just doesn't seem right to me. I suppose I don't want to be known as just "karen's girlfriend" (and if you see all those compliment someone threads, you'll notice 90% of the compliments to me are "you are a good boyfriend to karen"), just as I am sure (guessing) that you don't want to be known as "Anti's girlfriend" and not your own person when posting. That, and it feels uncomfortable to me to get all mushy and talk so publically of my personal life. To me it feels like making out in public. It's one thing if the other party doesn't know or doesn't go to the place, then it's more like talking to your friends about your girlfriend. But when both parties are present, it's a different dynamic. It's like being at a party with your girl and constantly telling everybody who cares to listen all you can about the relationship. To me it's just obnoxious and out of place.
Granted, I would be pretty miffed were I in your shoes at constantly being mistaken for his ex-girlfriend. But, as I said, that is no fault of Anti's or the members who make that faux pas. It is, as I said, an honest mistake. And, when that mistake is made, Anti quite clearly and definitivly corrects the error. What more do you want?
And once again, I don't think you're out of place either posting THIS here or posting here at all. Part of this problem it seems concerns the members of this site. So in that respect, I guess it makes sense to post it here. Also, I don't think you should feel any reticence when posting here in general, as in feeling you are stepping into Anti's territory. I have no problem with karen being here whatsoever, and she has none with me being here. But realize that when both parties ARE around, the relationship talk should generally be muted to a large degree. At least in my mind. I mean, I don't mind when an online couple talk about their relationships. But as an online couple, I feel uncomfortable talking about mine for the reasons above. You'll find that the people who talk most frankly and most often about their love lives are the ones who have SO's that don't even know the place exists. The couples we have on here generally don't talk all that much about their relationships, and most mature online couples in communities that I have found don't either. It's ettiquette, I suppose. I dunno, hard to explain. Trust me, karen and I have had this same conversation before so I know where you're coming from. But I don't see any foul here on Anti's part whatsoever.
Like I said, it's an honest mistake.
[This message has been edited by Dingle (edited 03-30-2001).]
DAMMMIT!!!!! I wanted to do it!!!!!!!!!!
Dingle, go play wit de fukwitit.
[This message has been edited by wonderaz (edited 03-30-2001).]
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An Anti question
03-30-2001 11:09 PM
