Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me
Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26420 |
 Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Today was a fun day.
A week or so ago, as a present, karen's mother gave us both season tickets to Busch Gardens (for those that don't know (limeys) that is an amusement park. Like Euro-Disney, but we keep the French quartered to one specific section only). In any case, we have been meaning to go and today, karen's mother was willing to take Keith and karen had the day off. The only problem was that there was a 70% chance of rain.
In any case, karen woke me up at about 9 AM (I had passed out around 7). It wasn't raining, so we got all our shit together, got dressed etc, and headed out the door. I was trying to decide if I should just wear a T-shirt and jeans, or if I should bring a flannel shirt and coat as well. karen kept telling me how nice it would be and finally talked me out of bringing a long sleeved flannel shit, though I did at the last minute decide to grab my coat.
So we headed out the door and went to her mother's house. There we dropped off Keith and picked up her half-brother, who had an even better Season Ticket, one that gave us free parking to boot (effectivly making the day free for us when those other poor schmucks had to pay 50 bucks for the day per person). In any case, we arrived around 1ish at the place. Now, the amusement park is seasonal, it closed from Halloween until the last week of March, and it's busy season is really the summer, so there really weren't very many people there at all, which is absolutly perfect as it means there is no more than a 5 minute wait for anything you'd like to do (in the busy season, the wait for the big roller coasters can be as long aas 3 hours). It was a bit chilly, but luckily karen (who was also wearing just jeans and a short sleeved shirt) always keeps a coat in the car.
Her half brother took off on his own as he had to leave in an hour or so, so we went around by ourselves.
Now, this place has like 6 roller coasters. I used to be a roller coaster junkie in my teens, but it had been more than a few years since I had last been on one. And frankly, I was more than a little reticent about it. I never minded flying before either, but in the last few years I have become a little phobic about it. Same here. I was scared. 
But karen wouldn't have it. I finally convinced her that, as we had all day, we would work our way up the roller coater totem poll (i.e. start with the easy ones), and we would switch off between roller coasters and non coaster rides to give my stomach a chance of settling (I discovered BTW that there are virtually no amusement park rides that don't involve sudden drops or rapid spinning). She agreed. So we started with something called the Loch Ness Monster or some shit (you'll never see a roller coaster named "The Fluffy Bunny). It wasn't as bad as I thought, I was really nervous, had my eyes closed the whole time, but afterwards thought "hey, that was pretty cool".
Next ride, in following with our deal, was one of those big swings thing. Basically, you sit in a chair attached to a chain and the thing lifts up and spins you around. No biggie.
And that's around the time it started raining.
It wasn't bad rain, mind you, not at first. Just a light drizzle.
So we then went and did another roller coaster, which was pretty damn fun, and I was getting much more relaxed.
Then, in breaking with our agreement, karen dragged me to the really heavy roller coasters.
A word on these roller coasters.
There aren't those stupid little wooden roller coasters mind you. Like I said, I used to be a roller coaster junkie, I've gone through all kinds. That was more than a few years ago, mind you, but I know what feels like what. These weren't like the old wooden roller coasters, that aren't scary but make a lot of irritating noises and flap your neck around like a dead duck. Nor were these those pussy metalic ones that dip a few times and then are over. These are those monsterous new age metal ones, twisted like pretzels, with HUGE drops and all sorts of bells and whistles. This one was the worst of the bunch, it went up about as high as a 10 story building, and then went into a series of loops and twists and tunnels and more dips and shit like that. I was nervous.
And while waiting in the brief line (the longest we encountered, about 10 minutes), it started raining. Not a drizzle anymore, big fat drops of cold ass rain (it had dropped to about 40 degrees at that point). We were waiting in line and watching the people coming back from the ride, and all were drenched with really terrible looks on their faces and red, red faces. Most of them looked pretty fucking pissed off.
One more note, karen was wearing this gigantic winter coat, hood and everything. I was wearing a fall jacket.
And she kept insisting we sit right up front.
So we got in the coaster when our turn came up. I zipped my coat up all I could. Karen tied her hood to the point where the only skin showing was her nose and eyes.
And the ride started.
Immediatly upon leaving the gate, we were getting really fucking wet. The coaster was climbing up up up the steep incline while the freezing downpour was splashing right in our faces.
And then we reached the zenith and took the first dip.
Man. It's one thing to be walking around in a downpour. It's quite another to be flying through it at 250+ mph with your entire face exposed.
I had my eyes closed the whole time again. Not out of fear so much this time, but because it was impossible to open them. It was like being hit with a fire hose and continuing to advance....quickly.
The ride took maybe 4 minutes. But by the time we got back to the gate, everybody was absolutly soaked. It was like we had been standing out in the rain for 2 hours. I'm not kidding when I say I could not have been more wet had I just jumped in a lake with all my clothes on and swam around for a few minutes. My jacket, normally pretty sturdy, had been reduced to the flimsyness of soaked toilet paper, my shoes were squishing, the papers in my pockets had been reduced to flakes.
In any case, it was kind of fun in a masochistic way.
Now, at this point, karen was still relatively dry (relatively), I was absolutly fucking drenched. And, mind you, it was pretty fucking cold to boot. I was freezing my fucking ass off.
At which point karen thought it a good idea to hit the log rides.
She kept telling me "no Brad, we won't get wet", and, despite my duly noted objections, we went on the first ride. It was pretty cool, something about the Excavation of Pompeii, and the raft thingie goes through a tunnel with a bunch of bad-ass pyrotechnics in it. Balls of fire not a few feet away from your face. It felt warm, which was GOOD!!!!!!
But then it dropped us, and suddenly about 100 gallons of water was dropped in my lap.
At which point we went on another roller coaster.
After which we went on another log ride.
And so on.
I can't think of a time in my life when I have been wetter or colder than I was today. I mean, the log rides provided you with a soggy bottom, and the roller coasters, with the rain and the wind, kept your upper body pretty fucking wet and made damn sure the bitter chill of the water got through to your brain. It didn't take long before I couldn't feel my hands.
But I was having a fucking BLAST.
I dunno. My roller coaster addiction got re-ignited. We were going on all sorts of ones. Old school ones where they sit you in the bucket seats, and two that just kind of strapped you in and dangled you with no floor. But gawd it was a helluva lot of fun. I cannot stress to you how fucking cold and wet we both were. Most everybody else had left the park the conditions were so miserable, and only a hearty few still went near the roller coasters, so we were able to just sit down on a roller coaster and go through 3 or 4 times, constantly getting our asses frozen and having rain smack us in the face.
And one thing, the amusement park is made for the summer season. Meaning, there is no heat. Anywhere. No building was heated, save a few shops with space heaters. Thus, there was no place to warm up.
We decided to catch a show, a 3D movie in a big theater. At the very least, it was out of the rain.
The movie was cool. It was called "Pirates", was pretty fucking cheesy, Leslie Neilson, Eric Idle, basically nothing more than an excuse to have things come at the audience real fast (it was AMAZING how 3D the movie actually looked. Seriously, it's freaky how real that shit looks). Also, the seats would vibrate, buzz, shoot water at you, whatever, to make it more real. karen had told me going in "yeah, there will be mist sprayed at you, bees stinging you, shit like that". She however, failed to mention one thing. At one point in the movie, Eric Idle had just escaped a big spider while in a cave. He then said "There's only one thing that scares me more than spiders....". I quickly turned to karen and said "ARE THERE BATS?!" at which point she burst into laughter (nobody else in the packed theater was laughing at the time, which made her outburst very awkward). Then, suddenly, the 3D bats appeared, totally convincing, in your face, attacking the audience (and Idle), and the head rests would spout air puffs in your ears quickly, emulating what it really does feel like to get attacked by bats (I know). It was quite realistic. I called her a dirty kunt for a good 5 minutes after that for not warning me.
After that, the tides turned. karen was getting cold and feeling bad, I was dragging her to the roller coasters over and over again.
In any case, we stayed till close and then left. Karen could no longer feel her legs and was quite nauseous. I was finally getting my second wind.
I am sore all over, I am still cold and think I have frostbite on my hands, and still have a red face from the cold and the fucking rain at 250 mph, and I look like a homeless person.
But goddamn, most fun I've had in a LONG time.
(I know this was a goddamned long post, don't read it unless you are really bored, just thought I'd share, karen can sum up for you all)
(ummm, for you innocent bystanders, talk about roller coasters and amusement parks or some shit like that)
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04-02-2001 04:04 AM
