Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26496

Karen Comes From Good Stock

This is a true story.

And it relates to karen's second cousin.

The day after the Virginian get together, we went to go pick Keith up from karen's mother's house where he had spent the weekend. Her mother then tells us about what happened to her close relatives, and shows us the front page story in that day's paper that corroborates her tale.

Karen's mom's only first cousin had a son. That son was spending some time in jail on some possession of marijuana charge. In any case, for reasons too complicated to mention here, the charge is apparantly incurred due to this guy's ex-girlfriend. So he's in jail, bitching to his cell mate about his cunt ex-girlfriend and what a hassle she is in his life. So the cellmate begins to convince this guy that he should have her killed. He spends days telling the guy "hey man, just have her offed. It'll be easy! You'll never get caught!" yadda yadda yadda. Over a few days time, this cellmate finally brings the guy around to the viewpoint that yes, he should have her killed. The guy's convinced, he is gonna hire a hitman to kill his ex-girlfriend.

At which point the cellmate offers his services. "I'll do it for 25 grand."

So they make the deal. Both get out of jail after not too long. Then the guy goes to his MOM (karen's mother's first cousin) and asks her for the money, telling her what it is for. The mother is cool with the whole thing and so she pays the hitman WITH A PERSONAL CHECK.

At which point the hitman/cell mate turns them both in and collects the thousand dollar reward for doing so. This is apparantly the third time he has done this in the last five years.

The second cousin gets 30 years. His remark after the sentence is announced: "Fuck, I should have just stuck a baby in the microwave!" (referring to some schitzo who recently stuck her baby in the microwave and got off with a 5 year sentence). This remark likely won't help him much for the appeal.

The mother is still awaiting sentencing.

Revel in the moronic insanity of karen's family.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Gehenna
Posts: 1018

This simply means that Karen's Mom got al the good genes. It happens like that sometimes.

At least you got the good side of the family.

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What you would kill to see brings out the GOD in me.

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Registered: Aug 2000
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Posts: 3539

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Joking aside, I hope Karen is ok.

[This message has been edited by HELL (edited 04-09-2001).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

my brothers in laws are crazy like that.
his wifes sister just got her fourth DUI, at the time of my brothers wedding she was dating some mafia guy and she brought him with her to the wedding! the FBI raided thier house shortly after, and threatened to take her four little boys away. she is a fucking nutbar. we just call her the bad seed, because none of us are half as stupid as she is.

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"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

edit-I have been scolded and told I shouldn’t talk about it. And for those who read or heard it before, I have nothing but contempt for the matter of which I spoke.

[This message has been edited by HELL (edited 04-09-2001).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

everyone in my family is pretty tame.
its my brothers wife who has the crazy family

i am considered the wild one in my family and i have never been arrested. heh

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"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26496

quote:

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Originally posted by HELL:

Joking aside, I hope Karen is ok.

---

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3539

edit-

[This message has been edited by HELL (edited 04-09-2001).]

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

God dammit. I thought this was gonna be a thread that explained how Karen was made of gravy

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sp00ky
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Disclaimer
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I am not expecting to change anything by this post other than awareness. Please do not take anything I say as fact, I am only relaying opinon of limited sources, who themselves know nothing and thus should also be ignored as heresay and could never be admissable in a court of law.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 1606

What kind of gravy is 60% alcohol? (She drank lots and hard the other day)

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Karen is a goddess. she can do whatever she likes


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"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

So whom gets the $25K?

I assume the "hitman" doesn't get to keep it and I am sure they confiscated it. They probably impounded the whole bank account.

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Woof.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: baton rouge, la
Posts: 4101

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone
said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire,
but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" - George Carlin


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you've been drinking my blood, well i've been licking your wounds

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 19755

Funny, Tiffennie was bemoaning her lack of ability to set fire to people just by looking at them yesterday, maybe I should buy her a flamethrower.

-m


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Freedom means taking the bad with the good.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: seattle-ish
Posts: 11538

Also, brad forgot to mention the following about my family:

-some were arrested in Florida a while back(cousins) for running a counterfeit money factory type thing

-about half of my family(whom live in florida and Ive never met) are in jail for either murder or drugs(marijuana). These are also distant cousins.

-my great grandmother ran a brothel in Buckroe(a part of Hampton,Va thats by the beach)in the early part of last century.

-they also were tied in with the mob somehow, apparently.

-one of my dumbass cousins (who was one of the ones from georgia)stole a car in the early 80s and my uncle(mother's brother) happened to be in the car with him and did NOT know it was stolen. The cops shot my uncle. was no fault of his. he did not resist. he did not MOVE, in fact, from the seat of the car. He had no weapons, drugs, etc on him. He was killed. He left behind two VERY young children. He was my favourite uncle. The cop that kille dhim committed suicide a few years later because he lost his job, and felt DEEP guilt for what he did. as he should have.
I still hate all of my family in georgia... even though Ive never met them. I dont know what the fuck is wrong with those people.
gah. me? Im just nuts. but Im not stupid.

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http://asylumnation.com/karen
choke me in the shallow water before i get too deep

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

that is crazy karen.
maybe thats why your such a tough bitch.
i still think about you kicking your ex's ass. you rock chickie!
*lllllllicks*

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"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19350

Karen? What is this check for $25.00 for? If it is for... ummm... *wink*, I will send $12.50 back. I never overcharge.

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Don't argue with me.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16499

quote:

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Originally posted by wonderaz:
Karen? What is this check for $25.00 for? If it is for... ummm... *wink*, I will send $12.50 back. I never overcharge.

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Karen, you should immediately call your bank and order a stop payment on that $25.00 check to the jackass. He's ripping you off, even if he rebates half. I told you I'd do the job for a coupla burritos and your Alvin & The Chipmunks album. Amen.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: seattle-ish
Posts: 11538

quote:

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Originally posted by J E B Stuart:

Karen, you should immediately call your bank and order a stop payment on that $25.00 check to the jackass. He's ripping you off, even if he rebates half. I told you I'd do the job for a coupla burritos and your Alvin & The Chipmunks album. Amen.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7542

looks like darwinism to me
i am glad you got all the good genes

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a /\/\ i n a l

"In complete darkness we are all the same,
It is only our minds that separate us."

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