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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post Smells like fish, tastes like chicken, It's the place you put your dick in....

Poem about muff diving.......


Eating out and chowing down,
Only tonight I'm not on the town.
Tonight I've been served a seafood dish,
Well it smells and tastes a lot like fish.
The time has come to ignore my fears,
As she drags me down there by my ears,
I feast upon her hot hairy pie,
While thick black pubes jab me in the eye,
She lies back and then softly sighs,
When all I can think of is scampi & fries.
Don't lick too low, move up a bit,
Got to be careful or I'll be in the shit,
Nibble, lick, caress and stroke,
The things blokes do just for a poke.
Up and down and right a bit,
Where the hell does she keep her clit?
I'll never find it in here like this,
When a fanny's designed just to take a piss.
To find my way around her twat,
I'll need a torch or a miners hat.
I feel like my tongue is failing me,
Oh shit, I hope she doesn't pee.
I feel like I've been licking for years,
I wish I could breathe through both my ears,
I hope to fuck that she comes quick,
I can feel my neck developing a crick.
I'm starting to sweat like I've got a fever,
Under the covers, eating this beaver,
I must have hit the right spot at last,
Cos' her screams are gaining volume real fast,
Her thighs clamp down tight around my head,
Her screams scare the neighbours out of their bed,
She's coming at last and making a racket,
Her thighs crushing my head like an empty fag packet.
I'm choking and spluttering but she doesn't care,
That my mouth's full of matted, fish flavoured hair.
And my face is all smothered in fanny batter,
And juices that taste like a seafood platter.
But she thinks it's funny and starts taking the piss,
But she soon stops her laughing when I move in for a kiss.

------------------
<i>"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"</i>

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:31 AM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Talking

That is fucking great

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:38 AM
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shyloh
eien no sayonara

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NYC
Posts: 3598

Post

it was funny up until the pissing part.

------------------------
Just click here.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:49 AM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post

quote:
Originally posted by shyloh:
it was funny up until the pissing part


WTF????

quote:
I feel like I've been licking for years


This is so true, it's scarey.
If this si what it's like for women giving head, I have a new found respect for you all.


quote:
I wish I could breathe through both my ears


Again, do not attempt oral sex with a cold, It can be fatal

quote:
I hope to fuck that she comes quick


Related to the first 2 me thinks.

It's all observantly funny/true.

I think you need your pussy liberated.

------------------------
"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"

[This message has been edited by CzEcH rEcK (edited 04-30-2001).]

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:58 AM
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Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Post

maybe if you worked on technique she would come quicker

i can come in under a minute sometimes.
that is talent!

------------------------

"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Old Post 04-30-2001 12:46 PM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Princess_Chelle:
maybe if you worked on technique she would come quicker

i can come in under a minute sometimes.
that is talent!




I do try, I have this technique down of Spelling out the Alphabet on her love bump.

She seems to like it..... But my tongue gets tired too fast.

I need.... TONGUE STAMINA!!!!!!

Ph33r my lack of Tongue stamina, It could happed to you too.

------------------------
<i>"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"</i>

: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 12:56 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

Dude, you can do tongue exercises. Ones for your jaw too.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 12:58 PM
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Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Post

incorporating a finger curled up against the g spot will help your girls get there faster.
if you rub and tap on it while you lick her, she will be cumming all over your face in no time.



------------------------

"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:02 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Princess_Chelle:
incorporating a finger curled up against the g spot will help your girls get there faster.
if you rub and tap on it while you lick her, she will be cumming all over your face in no time.





Who wants some broad jizzing on your face? I use the wrist rocket. No fuss, no muss.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:04 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Princess_Chelle:
incorporating a finger curled up against the g spot will help your girls get there faster.
if you rub and tap on it while you lick her, she will be cumming all over your face in no time.





Who wants some broad jizzing on your face? I use the wrist rocket. No fuss, no muss.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:05 PM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Princess_Chelle:
incorporating a finger curled up against the g spot will help your girls get there faster.
if you rub and tap on it while you lick her, she will be cumming all over your face in no time.



Hmmm, but untill I get home to give her a good servicing, I will have to be content with breaking a warm egg over my face, and picking pubes out of my teeth.



------------------------
<i>"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"</i>

: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:07 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

Pubes lick the balls.
That is why I make my lady
shave the beave.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:11 PM
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Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Post

ewww make her shave!

------------------------

"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:11 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
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Post

Damn right, I'm not dealing with that jungle of a mess

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:13 PM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post

quote:
Originally posted by Princess_Chelle:
ewww make her shave!




No chance, If theres no hair, I'm not there.

Thats what makes a fury burger a fury burger, a welcome mat a welcome mat....
The beef curtians need to be fibrous..



------------------------
<i>"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"</i>

: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:16 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

To each his own. Chelle shaves, I saw it

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:21 PM
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Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Post

ive been shaving for so long that i cant imagine having hair down there.
icky!!!!!!
i do understand having preferences though, and if you like picking pubes from your teeth, then go for it

------------------------

"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:29 PM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3041

Post

Mind you, shaved is nice, Bit Garry Glitter'ish tho.

------------------------
<i>"Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem"</i>

: In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:31 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In your mom's panties
Posts: 556

Post

Chelle let's me shave it for her

She likes the Mach3 by Gillette

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:31 PM
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Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

Post

now they have a girlie version of the mach three called the venus.
thats the one i use now turdie boy

------------------------

"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- Mae West

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:36 PM
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FlyingTurd
Heil Hitler!

Registered: Aug 2000
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That's what I meant

Chelle's pussy has never been smoother since she switched to the Venus.

"Look, no stubble burn. My face is unscathed"

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Old Post 04-30-2001 01:38 PM
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thatGuy
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I don't know , I enjoy doing that. Not at all that bad. I could spend hours down there, and yet I'm alone.

------------------------
This may hurt a bit

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slappy
slippery when happy

Registered: Aug 2000
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HAHAHHAAAAA that made me giggle czech. you're a sick man, but we luff you

------------------------
stinkycat - i love you

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Old Post 04-30-2001 03:50 PM
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Princess_Heather
long gone

Registered: Dec 2000
Location:
Posts: 1800

Unhappy

*Princess_Heather is embarrassed and feels badly*

------------------------
"I want to be the Girl with the most cake..." .~*Pics*~.

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:21 PM
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Fiend
batshit crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10181

Thumbs up

i personally like seafood

*licks lips*

------------------------
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

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Old Post 04-30-2001 11:26 PM
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