Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

Flirting Tips for the Clueless Male, Part II

Well, here's my shot at giving you some pointers on how to pick up chicks. Er, I mean, BROADS. And hey, if you doubt my credentials, well, let's just say I've already met my quota for sexual conquests in this life. *smacks self*

Actually I do think I have some worthwhile advice to give, a lot of it expanding on stuff in Firedrop's thread. There are a few qualities that women more or less consistently look for in prospective boyfriends and husbands. Now, there are always exceptions to the rule, but these qualities go a long way towards attracting most girls.

1. Looks / Hygiene

Pretty straightforward. Now, even if you were born ugly (so was I - big ears, bad acne, sasquatch), there's a fair bit you can do to improve your looks. If you have acne, go to a doctor and get it treated. Three months of bad skin you were going to have anyways, and you're a little farther ahead in the game. Like Firedrops said, get some new duds, get a good haircut. Get those teeth straightened out. Also, some exercise is a Very Good Thing. Now, it's not important to be skinny or buff, but a little cardiovascular workout or weights a couple times a week can give you a little muscle tone, which is all you need. A lot of women don't like big muscles, but most go for guys who don't have noodle-arms. Plus, you won't get tired in the sack. Who knows, you might even feel better about yourself. And as far as hygiene goes, keep the cologne limited to dates; wearing it every day can make you seem a little insecure. Instead, just use a nice-smelling deodorant, say, Old Spice or something similar. My girlfriend like it (and pssst - so does my mom!). No shitting.

Anyways...


2. Intelligence

Intelligence is sexy to almost all women. The only exception might be the excruciatingly ignorant sort who are more likely to fake stupidity than you are, so go nuts, if you actually like her. Now, intelligence is more or less fixed once you reach about 21 or so, but wisdom (which is closely related) is not. Taking the time to explore the fundamental questions of life, philosophizing, and trying to achieve a genuine understanding of the world indicates to a girl that you have a mind and are prepared to use it. This isn't the sort of thing which leads to multiple orgasms, but girls like it nontheless, for good reason.


3. Money

Now, I'm not promoting any generalizations here, but statistically women are more attracted to guys who will dish out cold, hard cash and other presents. Since prehistory, women have borne almost all the reproductive costs of having children, so naturally they have evolved to prefer men who can provide resources for them (while they're pregnant) and their children, thus increasing the likelihood that those kids would survive. This doesn't mean that you have to rob a bank (or own one; the two are roughly equivalent), it just more or less means that you ought to get a job. And I feel obligated to mention - statistically, couples are more likely to divorce when the woman brings home more bread than her husband does. Sleep tight. *gulp*

[This message has been edited by Hedonism (edited 06-28-2001).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

4. Productivity

Productivity is probably not the best word for the quality I'm trying to describe, so let's couch this idea a little differently. If you spend all of your time developing your 'ass-groove' on the couch, women will not like you. Women more often seem to enjoy the company of men who have ambition and energy, or at least a sense of purpose. They like men who have interests, who devote their energy to something, whether it be work or a hobby. However, the flip side of this is that they hate it when you spend so much time doing either of those things that you ignore them. A fien balance must be maintained between work and play. Rowr!


5. Confidence

As a couple people mentioned in the other thread, confidence is key. If you have self-confidence, you won't mumble and stutter when talking to girl, and you avoid talking to them in the first place, either. Confidence means the difference between seeing an opportunity and seeing failure, and although it seems like a difficult task, you can become more confident. It just takes time and effort.

First of all, confidence, rests on self-esteem, so you need to start doing things that make you feel better about yourself. This includes a lot of the above - exercising, improving your looks/hygiene, getting a better paying job with more responsibility, developing your hobbies, improving your social life.


Self-Conditioning

Confidence also has a lot to with the way that we think about approaching a girl, and with the way that we think about ourselves. If you're anything like most men, the first thoughts that come to mind when you think of asking a girl out have to do with either her breasts or the many obstacles and pitfalls that stand between you, her phone number, and the tree outside her bedroom window. Instead, you need to think in terms of the opportunity you have to actually make a move. This means getting yourself comfortable with all the different ways it could turn out... she may just like you, or she may not. Rejection is bound to happen; all guys experience it at some point in their lives. Women are very fickle creatures, yanno. Even if you get turned down, you're really no worse off - if anything, you've just shown that you have the balls to actually ask her out, and handle rejection. Most importantly, it shows you that rejection is not the end of the world.

As said before, confidence rests on self-esteem, so if you want to increase your likihood of attracting girls, you're going to have to condition yourself to actually like yourself and your own life. Now, this doesn't mean puffing yourself up in your own mind to be something you aren't, but it means thinking about your life and your opportunities in such a way that you brings yourself up to a level of real confidence based on happiness rather than an artificial mental slouch. Discipline is required to quell negative thoughts that remind you of your obstacles rather than your goals and the steps you need to follow to reach them. Its difficult to succeed when focus on your flaws, so thinking positively in terms of opportunity can, over a long period of time, make you happier by virtue of a more pleasant mental state and thus make you more self-assured and likely to attract women.

Well, that's me spent. I hope this has been of some use. Ahhh, who am I kidding; I only did it to aggrandize my own ego. Or perhaps I just decided to write until I either got bored or fell asleep, face-down, drooling on the keyboard, causing an electrical fire that would burn my house down and incinerate me alive. Hmmm. Could be, could be.

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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: salmon city
Posts: 1409

7. dont be fat like Don Johnson



Johnson is so fat, nobody likes him.
very,very fat.

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ALL HAIL FISHLEADER!
Fish Nation Anthem - download HERE. - all new Festival Song available.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

I love 'em

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

I never liked him.
Even when he was thin.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6490

Cluture points for Hedonism!!!!!


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The red x will remain until Im not too lazy to fix it.

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Registered: May 2001
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 987

Good points hedonism. As a girl, I agree with them all. Listen to the man.

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Paperclips and Nosebleeds

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

hehe, Thanks, Avondale.

Hey, you think I scared off all the wimmin-folk with my talk about BROADS and sexual conquest?

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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

Thanks, Firedrops. Bully Logan into taking my advice!

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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: baton rouge, la
Posts: 4101

Logans Tips For Picking Up Men

1. Looks/Hygiene

hygiene really doesn't matter, but wear something tight. less is certainly more.

2. Intelligence

we want you smart enough not to burn our meals, but stupid enough not to see through our lies about other women.

3. Family

we expect you to forget them as soon as possible, preferably by killing them and collecting lots of insurance money.

4. Misc

have sex with other women and let us watch.

good luck ladies!

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"Remember, sometimes evil comes with a bushy tail...." -Blennidae

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Registered: May 2001
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 987

Cute Logan hehe

And, Hedonism, believe me, we're trying! Catfat and I want to set him up with someone. Of course we are supposed to meet his girlfriend tomorrow or some such silliness. But she disappeared for 10 days without telling him where she was so I think he deserves more.

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Paperclips and Nosebleeds

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 4420

quote:

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Originally posted by Firedrops:


And, Hedonism, believe me, we're trying! Catfat and I want to set him up with someone.

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oh how i wish you lived in england, preferably in london.....then you could help me.....


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Registered: May 2001
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 987

Prozac, anytime you want to buy me a plane ticket be my guest

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Paperclips and Nosebleeds

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
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quote:

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Originally posted by Firedrops:
And, Hedonism, believe me, we're trying! Catfat and I want to set him up with someone. Of course we are supposed to meet his girlfriend tomorrow or some such silliness. But she disappeared for 10 days without telling him where she was so I think he deserves more.

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She sounds like a ho-cake. Ditch 'er, Loge, you can do better! Yes, set this boy up with someone pretty yet fun and intelligent. And then... when he's not looking... bahahahahahaha. Excellent.

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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 15178

Umm.. yeah. So that's where I'm going wrong.

Actually, I'd say I've missed every point you've mentioned.

Well, except for the hygiene (unless not shaving often is a problem).

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Possibly maybe.
Graphic Cheeseworks

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 1122

Well, now it's time to arm yourself, my friend.

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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: East Bay
Posts: 3383

Be an asshole. You forgot that. Women love guys who are assholes. They say they don't but who do they go with? Nice guys finish last. We always have, always will. Sure, they may want to settle for us. But I don't want to be "settled" for. Too bad I can't be an asshole...though, I've tried.

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Whenever you see someone struggling to be free,look in their eyes and you'll see me.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18877

Con-fi-dence? What is this "con-fi-dence?"

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Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10196

i am convinced that 80% of women enjoy spanking

a firm but not too hard slap on the ass is always a good tip

and just make them laugh and happy

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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: baton rouge, la
Posts: 4101

i'm done with her, shes no good and no fun anyway. her mom wont let her do anything and i'm sick of her being stupid. the only reason i have her is because she threw herself at me and i wa pathetic enough to pick up on it.

i'm all for being set up, good luck you two.

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"Remember, sometimes evil comes with a bushy tail...." -Blennidae

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Nanaimo, BC
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quote:

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Originally posted by flocat:
Be an asshole. You forgot that. Women love guys who are assholes. They say they don't but who do they go with? Nice guys finish last. We always have, always will. Sure, they may want to settle for us. But I don't want to be "settled" for. Too bad I can't be an asshole...though, I've tried.

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Nah, flo... the wrong women go for assholes. The good women are few and far between, which is why working yourself up is important - it won't be an opportunity you'll want to miss. The right women won't have the sort of issues that will lead them to date assholes, and will likely be more perceptive than that anyways. Right?

Well, if you don't want to be 'settled for', then stop laying down and feeling sorry for yourself.

And fiend has a good point; a well-placed ass-spank will get nearly any woman going.

*nods* Definitely sounds like you're better off without her, Logan. Good luck finding someone new!




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Prying open my third eye, one sliver at a time...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: baton rouge, la
Posts: 4101

i do what i can. its all up to catfat and firedrops now.

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"Remember, sometimes evil comes with a bushy tail...." -Blennidae

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

ohyah,

and girls really don't like it when guys whine all the time.

eh flo?

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I feel:


"If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts." -Kurt Vonnegut

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