Well hey there little guy.
Looks like you've wandered onto our little website here.
Boy, it sure must be scary. You look so cold, alone, and afraid, what being in this BIG place with all these BAD people. Here take my hand. That's it.
Why are you crying? You are safe now.
What's that? You want to hear the story of how we came to be? Well, that certainly is a long tale. Why don't you take a seat by my campfire? That's it right over there.
*lights my pipe*
Are you comfortable?
Well, the internet is a vast and enormous place, as you well know. There is a website for everything, about everything, and criticizing everything. And once upon a time, a bad man named Jay Stile started a website, it was called stileproject.com.
Oh, you've heard of it? What do you think? You like it?
I knew you would.
In any case, in terms of pure offensiveness, his site pretty much raised the bar, took it off the pegs, and beat everybody around with it a few times before putting is safely out of reach. It has snuff films, Faces of Death stuff, crazy porn, japscat…
Can you say japscat?
I knew you could.
In any case, let's just say that it is not a nice site.
And this site had a forum on it.
Many people gathered on that forum. Alliances grew, relationships formed, friends were made, even intelligent thought sometimes was known to leak out on occasion. It was a lot of fun. In any case, a community slowly began to spring up, like a flower in a barren desert of chaos and evil. Now keep in mind that that forum gets some crazy number of hits divisible by 10,000 a day, so we were constantly inundated with all sorts of horseshit from the faceless droves. But after awhile, we learned to cope, and although the settings were not ideal, we formed our tight-knit community there. For whatever reason, a site with snuff and shit-eating brought in a lot of really cool and open-minded people.
At one point, a boy named tack, not much older than you, had the bright idea of setting up a website of our own. The point of the site was to have more extensive profiles of the regulars there, partly to appease the a/s/l nazis, but mostly just to get to know each other better, and cuz it would be cool. We all found this to be a grand idea, as the regular profiles for forums tend to be a bit banal and restrictive. There was much debate about it, some arguing…okay, a lot of arguing, and finally two little piggies names Anti-Stile and Dingle struck out and decided to build a site. Thus the asylumwhores.com was born.
BTW, the whores is from an old title on stileproject.com. If you had over a certain amount of posts, you graduated from a Newbie Slut to an Official Stileproject Whore. The Asylum was just a cool sounding name. So don't think we are into mental health porn.
Well, okay, we are. But that's beside the point. And only if the bitches are REALLY crazy.
So after a few weeks, the site was up and running and we all started posting our profiles. As I said, all we had at that point was just profiles. It was just a fun side project.
Well, Stile has a bad habit of fucking around with his users. He does it to keep things fresh, to stir up the pot as it were. Sometimes it would just be a mainpage thing, but he also enjoyed fucking with the forum, banning people, censoring, all that, just to piss us off. Well, one day, we all logged on to discover the forum gone, with the message "I shut down the forum, you all act like a bunch of fucking 5 year olds."
Now, forum addiction is a wonderful, but quite powerful force. Most of us had become really close friends, and forum posting a very enjoyable and fruitful recreational activity. You know how crazy you get when your electricity is out and you have NOTHING to do. It's like that. Most of us had been around long enough to know it was a joke, but still, WE NEED A FORUM! We have friends, confidantes, people who make us laugh, and who were suddenly entirely inaccessible.
Now, now, don't cry. I know this is the scary part. But trust me, it all has a happy ending. Here, take this tissue. That's it. Feel better? Good. Well let me go on then…
So for about a day or two we all bounced around the homepages of each other, settling in to whatever forum would have us. A wonderful lady named Muppet hosted our nomadic clan of web junkies for a few days. And at one point, Dingle says to himself, "Well, fuck it, I can set up a forum at asylumnation.com." And that he did.
So we all flooded in here. At last, our roving band of malcontents had a home.
And on the 7th day, God rested.
At first it was only the really hardcore forum junkies who came. People would just ICQ the people on their contact lists, tell their friends, things like that. Then we started e-mailing all the old regulars and it began to fill up.
After about a week in real life time (which is like a month in forum-time), Stile re-opened his forum without a word. A lot of us didn't even notice. Some refused to go back on general principle, crying foul. Others knew that he would continue fucking around with us until the day he died, and chose rather to control their own destinies. And still others just felt no need to go back, because the reason we had stayed on at stileproject for so long was not for Stile, but for the community, the others. And once they moved, those people moved too. Granted, many of us still check back in there from time to time, and we get a lot of cross traffic, but asylumnation.com turned from an offshoot site to its own bona fide independent community.
Now, when the asylum idea was originally throw around, with input from just about everybody, a few people were voted to helm it a bit. Wonderaz was the first, as he is old and wise and old. He has been kind of our bedrock. I was another chosen. As was MstrG. He is old too.
The people "in charge" are not really administrators in the regular vein. Part of why we were picked is because we have been around awhile, and are around a lot. We are just regular members, which is partially why this site is so cool. The moderators of this board, the administrators of this site, are not just faceless automatons working out of some office building in Chicago, but rather, are very active members of this community, from all over the place, people who everybody already knows. This is why we have just as much stake in it as everybody else does.
So, once the forum got up and running, the lot of us took control of the administrative stuff. With the help of lo-key and JEB Stuart, we all started concocting our evil schemes and kept things running smoothly as best we can.
But here is one of the benefits of a community-based site such as ours.
While a few people are technically "in charge", there is no real power at all, or at least it is completely dispersed amongst the members. We basically listen to all of you. Suggestions are ALWAYS taken into consideration, and if enough people support it, if it is a good idea, and if it is possible and feasible, we do it. We are, essentially, your servants, not to put too fine a point on it.
Also, we don't ban, we don't censor. Period. We have a few rules, no kiddie porn, no spamming, things like that, but other than those givens, there is no censorship of any kind. And there never will be.
The columns and regular features were chosen based on the pulse of the masses, the ones we felt would get the best reception, the most interest, and represent a good cross section of personalities and styles. And, for the record, they will regularly change. We are constantly adding, editing, tweaking, moving, and generally shaking things up as much as we can, based on the views of the community. That goes for all content on the site.
In any case, one of the things we discovered was the enormous wealth of talent and diversity in fields of experience we had at our disposal. Our community contains wonderful artists, elite techies, drunks, lawyers, English teachers, marketers, and hot air balloonists, the latter of which has no real bearing on the site as far as professional experience goes, but is a cool job nonetheless.
You like balloons, don't you?
So we hope to incorporate all these talents towards the site that houses our community, in whatever way people choose, and to a large degree, we already have. You have been a part of hundreds of various communities in your lifetime. But this is the most diverse, talented, and coolest that I personally have ever met, virtually or otherwise.
But I digress.
In any case, whereas initially this was just a forum site, with a mainpage for site news, we realized the wealth of talent we had, and there were calls for a mainpage with actual content, so we acquiesced. The mainpage you are looking at, or were a few minutes ago, is the result of hundreds of suggestions, submissions, and many hours of blood, sweat, and tears. And, unlike many other sites, we are CONSTANTLY under construction, and constantly changing to the needs and desires of the members.
In a word, that is exactly what this site is about: community.
Not in the cliched, bullshit sense of the word, but in a very real way.
Oh, but don't be afraid, little one. We tend to not be elite royalty who frown upon new blood, as is the case with most forums and online communities. Our old stomping grounds was constantly inundated with new faces, many of which were mean and evil. Not so with ours. For the first six months or so, our site grew only from word of mouth. That switched our mentality a lot. Now, we welcome new people, fresh perspectives. Just try not to be a douchebag.
So fear not, little one. While this place may seem cold and evil, it is actually one of the warmest and coolest places on the frontier of the internet. This is not your father's website.
This belongs to us.
And that is the best thing I can ever say about it.
There now. Feel better?
I knew you would.