How the world was created:

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
days.

On the seventh day, Michael the archangel found him, resting. He inquired
of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwardsthrough the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing todifferent parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Antarctica in the
south will be very cold. Over there I've placed a continent of white people
and over there is a continent of black people."

God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice."

The Archangel impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass
in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth".
There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite
coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent
and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be
extremely sociable, hard-working and high achieving, and they will be
known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also
going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will
be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God smiled and replied wisely. "Wait until you see the stupid loud-mouth
bastards I'm putting next to them."

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Would you like a plush toy?

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*Falls out of his chair laughing inspite of himself*




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Happiness is a moveable feast.

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Yeah. Alaskans are real dickheads.

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Yeah, we are bastards, aren't we?

It's wonderful how everyone just loves bashing Americans... fucking generalizations.

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A goth midget.
Graphic Cheeseworks.

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HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S STUPID! THERE IS NO ONE NEXT TO CANADA, JUST OCEAN!!! THERE IS ONLY US AMERICANS BELOW.....

oh, I get it now.

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Don't argue with me.

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I am american, I am allowed to bash myself!
=)

quote:

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Originally posted by Roshigoth:
Yeah, we are bastards, aren't we?

It's wonderful how everyone just loves bashing Americans... fucking generalizations.

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Ahhh come on Rosh, you curmudgeon, that was funny as shit.

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Don't argue with me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by wonderaz:
Ahhh come on Rosh, you curmudgeon, that was funny as shit.

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Yeah, it was funny. I just felt like bitching, because I can.

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A goth midget.
Graphic Cheeseworks.

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that shit was hysterical! fucking funny as ass! holy crap was that funny! no really, its really funny! good one! canadians really aren't jealous of america! canadians enjoy living in the shadow of america! good joke! almost as good as:

what is the difference between canada and yogurt?

i know you are all thinking because canada is lame and yogurt is tastey, but the correct answer is: yogurt has an active culture.

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hahhahhhahahhahahahhahhahhahah

but in a lighter note, i really do hate french canadiens, learn to drive before you come to maine you fucking queeeebs!!

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ManHo Inc.®©

Heh, The 1st one is old was funny the st time i heard it. But Gnop's is fucking funny. Guess I got a new joke to tell at the bar tonite.

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I dun Know...MORE CRAP FOR YOU

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Who was the maniac french sepratist that posted in spf 8-10 months ago? He caused some great threads.
His english sucked, funny as shit poster.

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Don't argue with me.

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In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Canada, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

[This message has been edited by GoFuckYourselves! (edited 12-02-2000).]

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