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Cold hands - thick neck
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I have cold hands.
I have had cold hands before. Sometimes even cold feet, hell I live in a place where winter time is all the time. I can stand cold. For weeks now my hands and feet have been like ice. I wear clothes, socks, two pairs, three pairs. I wear clothes. I am cold.
Then I feel this thing on my neck, on my throat. It's a swollen mess. I keep stretching my head back to feel it. I get everyone close to feel it. My mother felt it and told me to go to a doctor. She should have just said "it's big Linn, get over it." People get thicker necks once in a while you know. I could have just gotten a thick neck.
Last Wednesday he had his hands on me. I always get doctors that want to feel my chest. I believe I have had more people feeling my chest than a Thai hooker with implants. Only, most have been purely medical. Most.
I have been sick before. Actually I have been very sick before. I have been sick, all my life. Sometimes I get better and other times I get looks as to say – "We have no idea, sorry". Life goes on, I felt good. I woke up and felt good. I drank some iodine; I was allowed to eat birth control for the first time. I felt good.
I stopped drinking the iodine, it was part of some health thing that supposedly made you pee a lot and cleared out your system for the new year. I didn't know drinking iodine gives you a thick neck.
You don't get it though, I don't want to spell out the whole story here I just want to say that it's a big deal. It's a big fucking deal and I can't say that to everyone I know here. I cannot worry them. I called my brother and I don't talk to my brother but I damn well called him to let him know that I might have something on my neck. He thought I had a thick neck as well. He has a thick neck.
But I can't let them know that I am worried here, I can't let them know that I am so afraid to call my doctor tomorrow. He was new by the way, a new doctor. A new doctor feels like writing in a forum. He has my medical chart, you have my profile. You do your analysis of me and you make your mind up who I am and what's wrong with me. You take tests and I am a fluffy pink bunny with big cheeks or if I was a dinosaur I'd be a T-Rex or if I was a month I'd be July.
I know I don't post much because I don't have very much to offer on American politics or arguing over black and white. I don’t see my life in black and white. It's interesting to watch and I want to have opinions on such things. I just haven't lived my life that way.
I am making a call tomorrow to see what is wrong with me now and no one understands that I want there to be something wrong with me. I want there to be an explanation that is reasonable. If there is something wrong with me tomorrow there is way to fix it, very good pleasant ways.
If there's not, my mother promised me a colonic. I don't shit in front of other people. I'm sorry. I hate thick necks. And shit.
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