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One Happy Meal... to go, please.
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A moment of understanding.
Every now and then life seems to give ya a glimpse into the reality of the whole scheme of things. Today I was given the chance to take someone close to me to the bus station. Without alot of details, it was a guy who's life has been touched by drugs and alcohol, a few times they were near victorious in his life but for the fate of a guardian angel of some sort at work in his life, he lives.
Or rather, should I say, he is still alive.
He has lost his children, his relationship, home, job and almost every ounce of self worth he had. His joy of life was stolen by drugs and drowned in a bottle, I know because I watched it happen. I have sat quitely on the sidelines watching, only speaking to him about it when he would come to me and ask my thoughts. He is a grown man and will do as he pleases, it is not my place to tell him what he should or should not do. I found I could only offer him my attention, an ear to hear and shoulder to cry on, hugs of comfort when needed, and words of wisdom because I had once walked the same familiar road he is on. It is also his choice to heed my words or continue to go out drinking and knuckling up and getting in trouble. He decided he needed help.
I dropped him off with just two backpacks in his hands. Not much baggage but what he carries on the inside is alot of problems that weigh on his soul, alot of 'what if's' and 'if only's'. It has gotten to the point where it shows in his walk and in the way he carries himself, slowly, weakly, almost slugglishly. Uncaring.His eyes are dull and fading, with just a slight ray of hope that barely shines thru. I don't know when I will see him again, I hope he makes it. It is here our roads seperate.
I drove away slowly, approaching the red light, I had a flashback of just a few short years ago, when I was in the same exact place of Life he is now. The arrow had turned green for me to go, but I was caught daydreaming by the silver car behind me. She voiced her annoyance with a load constant blare of the horn until I began to go. I looked up in the mirror and waved to her as I drove away. Looking back I noticed she had got the red light and was now stuck there. hahahaha oops. 'sorry lady'.
I am a very careful driver and I have never let myself daydream or drift off in thought behind the wheel. That was a first.
I giggled as I drove the distance back to the apartment.
I was wishing my friend good luck on his journey and it suddenly hit me. I was in the shoes of the one that dropped me off at a bus station a few short years ago and helped me on my way. I had often wondered why someone would bother with another person to that extent, especially having a drug and drinking problem. It seems many just walk on by or glance the other way, for lack of understanding,not wanting to be bothered.I remember being in some of my lowest times in life and I never expected anyone to help me out, why should they? No one owed me anything and seems always wanted something in return, few are those that don't. It is them who receive the most though.
Something in my life had gone full circle. I am now on the opposite side and it was me who was able to help. It was at that moment I understood the feelings and thoughts of someone who has helped me before. I understand the reasons and the faith they had for me. I understand the sacrifices they made in their life for me. I understand their heart of passion and wishes of hope.
I know what it is like looking thru the looking glass. It's friggin' awesome!
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