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Parsifal at the LA Opera
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So last night, Ellen and I went to see the opening night of Parsifal, Wagner's opera, at the LA Opera. I had only been to one Wagner opera (Tannhauser) before. Conductor was Kent Nagano, Parsifal played by Placido Domingo.
One important piece of information: the staging and costumes were by Robert Wilson, who is an avant-garde stage designer, quoted as saying something along the lines of "I don't like the theater".
His stage design was minimalist, to say the least (so to speak). The basic stage was bare except for what looked like a whole lot of stacked plexiglass plates, forming a ramp over the whole stage. Actually, those looked pretty cool; kind of like ice, or a lake. Other stage designs will be noted below.
The costumes were bizarre--mostly weird black angular constructions of what looked like felt, except for Gurnemanz, who was dressed as a giant lower-case letter "y", as far as I could tell.
Anyway, the stage direction apparently consisted mostly of "hold still for about fifteen minutes at a time, except for occasional extremely slow hand or leg movements". Now do that for about five hours, including two twenty-minute intermissions, add some truly exquisite music (Wagner may have been an anti-Semitic egomaniacal arsehole, but he was a musical genius), and you've got this staging of Parsifal. Actually, I had a pretty good time, but the staging was really bizarre.
Below, is my five-minute summary of the two and a half hour first act:
Act 1
(setting is the Grail castle, where a band of knights have been charged with guarding two holy artifacts: the Grail, and the Holy Spear (which wounded Christ on the cross). )
Gurnemanz: What a nice morning. It's time for Amfortas' bath. Poor guy.
Kundry (semi-demonic witch beautiful woman): Here. Have some balsam. It'll help him.
Gurnemanz: Cool. Thanks.
Kundry: Fuck off.
(by the way: that all took about 30 minutes)
Offstage voices: Hey! Someone killed a swan.
(enter Parsifal)
Gurnemanz: You're not supposed to kill swans. Who are you?
Parsifal: I don't know.
Gurnemanz: Where are you from?
Parsifal: I don't know.
Gurnemanz: Who are your parents?
Parsifal: I don't know.
Gurnemanz (to himself): Hmmm. We've been told to expect an "innocent fool, wise through compassion", who could heal Amfortas of his wound. Maybe this is him.
(to Parsifal): Well, you certainly fill the "idiot" part. Come on into the Grail Hall, and we'll see what part of it you understand.
(At this point, two pieces of scenery appear. The first is what seems to be an iceberg, drifting SLOWLY in from stage right. The other is what I will henceforth call the Neon Donut of Wisdom, which is a big glowing donut descending from the top. These come together , with the donut surrounding the iceberg, in a process which takes at least five minutes and during which NOTHING ELSE IS HAPPENING. I am not kidding.)
Amfortas: AAAAAGH! Someone please kill me and put me out of my misery. That damn evil sorcerer Klingsor (I'm not making up the name) stole the Holy Spear and stabbed me with it, and the wound won't heal. I suck. I SUCK!
Gurnemanz and knights: Show us the Grail.
Amfortas. AAAAARGH! No way. I suck too much.
Titurel or some such (Amfortas' father, who is dead): I'm only mostly dead. Now show us the grail before I have to go revenant on you.
Amfortas. Fine.
(shows them the Grail--or rather, has some person do something with the iceberg, and maybe hand something invisible to him, or maybe not, we can't tell. Amfortas then lifts his hands up and walks SLOWLY around the Donut of Wisdom, with his hands glowing. The walk takes about ten minutes.)
Audience: Wait. Is he holding the grail? Is the iceberg the grail? Is the guy the grail, or his glowing hand? Am I too impure to see the grail? What the hell is going on, and why is it going on so SLOWLY?
(Amfortas finishes his walk, then disappears from view behind the Donut of Wisom, leaving Gurnemanz standing on it looking at Parsifal, who is standing downstage left, looking at Gurnemanz. Gorgeous orchestral music.)
Amfortas: (looks at Parsifal)
Parsifal: (looks at Amfortas, slowly lifts foot up, then puts it back)
Amfortas: (looks at Parsifal)
Parsifal: (looks at Amfortas)
Amfortas: (looks at Parsifal)
Parsifal: (looks at Amfortas, makes odd twirly motion with his hand)
(this goes on for about ten minutes--I am not making that up--with nobody saying or doing ANYTHING. Then comes my favorite line of the whole opera.)
Gurnemanz (suddenly): Why are you standing there like that? Did you understand anything about what you just saw?
(At this point, I heard suppressed chuckles from my entire row, and felt people's shoulders shaking with laughter.)
Audience: NO! WE DIDN'T! AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING THERE LIKE THAT?
Parsifal: (says nothing)
Gurnemanz: You're just an idiot. Go away.
Parsifal: (leaves).
End of Act 1.
Act 2 involves Parsifal getting the Spear back from Klingsor (dressed as Ming the Merciless in black felt) and avoiding fleshly temptation by a bunch of witches (who he thinks might be flowers) and Kundry. He does so by being profoundly stupid. Seriously, that's what makes him the good guy.
Act 3 involves Parsifal returning the spear to the Knights and using it to heal Amfortas. Also in this act is the Attack of the Giant Scenery Bird, Return of the Donut of Wisdom (sans iceberg, with a BBQ pit instead), and the World's Slowest Whac-A-Mole Game.
It was actually pretty fun.
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