Stool Pigeon.

What an unglamorous life. It almost sounds like it could be fun, putting your life on the line, leading cops to the bad guys, pretending to be someone you're not. Plus, you're helping the good guys, you're on the right side. When you get into the world of narcotics though, things get blurred. They all want drugs, yea, the dealers are bad, of course, but what about your friends? People you know? And, it's worse when you're caught with 11 tabs of acid on you, buying from an undercover narc agent. Now, it's forced upon you and you have no choice. I live in constant paranoia; did they bug my car? Are they listening to my telephone conversations? I can't even talk frankly with some of my friends b/c I desperately don't want them to be arrested for something I got caught for. So, what do I do? I can snitch, or I can take my licks and let them press charges.

Charges would go on my record forever, even if they were dropped to misdemeanors. I would have to put them on job applications. Misdeamenor drug possession? What drug? Acid, sorry, we can't use you, here's the door. This has the potential to completely screw over my life. I've used pot several times, and never touched anything else, and I got caught in a sting from someone else who was saving their ass from jail time by sending me there. What a hell of a way to go. They have the evidence to convict me, and it's a foregone conclusion, so now I guess it's time to bargain. I was caught six weeks ago, and in a midnight interrogation, they painted a frightening picture. They have audio evidence of my buying, the undercover officer selling it to me, and they found it in my possession. The only way to get myself out of this is to help myself, as they called it. If I knew anyone, friends, acquaintances, anything, then if I just set them up, and took them down, all would be forgiven.

I left that room a broken man.

If I had had a leg to stand on, some chink in their case, I would have fought, and fought madly, but there was none. I had done it, they had it all.

The first things through my mind that night were thoughts I never would think. I thought of all my closest friends and their habits, one was an ex dope fiend, one smoked pot forever and quit, etc, etc. None used currently, but they all had. I'm ashamed of myself for thinking like that. That will be one of the memories that will stay with me forever, considering turning in my friends to save my own ass. The only person outside my immediate family that found out about it was my best friend, and she counseled me to go snitch for them. Unfortunately, I really don't have any drug links, I went through my only one previously, and he had turned me in.

So where was I? I have a felony drug charge hanging over my head, one way out, and no way to use it. They said they could set it up in such a way that they'd never know who snitched em out, and I've run through ways in my head dozens of times, but I'd know, and that's enough. I always wanted to be someone that everyone could trust, and that was my proudest thing about myself, my unflinching honesty, and truth. If I go through with this, will I ever be able to look myself in the eye again? I'm trading the rest of my life for a compromise in my morals for the next few months, and I dunno if I can make the right choice. I dunno what the right choice is. I don't know if I could live with myself after doing this, I don't know how well I could live with a drug conviction. Catch-22. What do I do?

What do I do.

(Mike suddenly felt nervous, he wasn’t expecting this, but how could he turn her down. Deep down he felt the same way and he was relieved she made the first move this time.)

Mike- "I want you too, so badly."
Kim- "Well, I’m going to take off my clothes, you be ready when I get back."
Mike- "I will be."

(Mike began to tear off his clothes and then realized that maybe he shouldn’t seem so eager. He slowed down, made sure everything was set out just right, then sat down waiting for her.)

Kim- "I’m back. Well, I guess you’re ready! I’m going to start, let me touch your chest. Mmm, so smooth and strong. You have a great body I love it. Do you like me nibbling your chest?"
Mike- "You know I do, but I don’t want you to do everything."
Kim- "It’s okay, I like it, I like being in control."
(Mike feels himself getting excited deep inside. He’s never had a woman take such control and he likes it)
Mike- "Okay, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me."
Kim- "Great, let me touch your cock, I’m so wet I can’t wait any longer. Mmm, you have such a nice cock, I’m going to lick it, okay?"
Mike- "Sure, go for it, your hand feels great."

(Mike can feel the warmth envelop his cock, pleasure shoots through his body.)

Kim- "Are you close, I can feel how hard you are?"
Mike- "Yeah I am, what about you?"
Kim- "I’m close too, but I need you to touch me. Mmm, that’s it… you’ve got the spot baby."

(Mike’s heart raced, his feelings of pleasure, excitement and love were building inside of him. He could feel the cum rising from his balls and knew he couldn’t hold out much longer.)

Mike- "You are the best, I’m dripping everywhere, I can feel it cuming soon."
Kim- "Oh baby, your cock is so hard, I’m going to cum too!"
Mike- "Cum with me baby, come on…"
Kim- "I’m cuming, oh it’s rushing through my body, god I’m cuming!"
Mike- "Oh, me too, you’re the best… I love you babe, I love you!"

(Mike feels his body start to convulse, the wonderful feeling ripping his body and mind apart. He’s never felt this way it’s amazing.)

Kim- "Oh my god Mike, you made me cum a quart. I got everything so wet, I’m sorry."
Mike- "It’s okay, that was so hot. You are the most beautiful, sexy woman I’ve ever known."

(Mike felt a wave of embarrassment come over him. He’s never spoken that way about any woman, but this time he meant it and wouldn’t take it back.)

Kim- "Stay with me until I fall asleep, please?"
Mike- "Of course I will, I’m not going anywhere. Let me run my fingers through your hair."
Kim- "Mmm, that’s nice. Did you mean what you said about me being beautiful?"
Mike- "Of course I did, I wouldn’t have said it if not."
Kim- "Thanks."

(Mike smiled, he found her, the one woman that could make him forget the troubles of a long day. He cared for this woman, he loved her deeply.)

Kim- "I’m dosing off, your touch is guiding me to wonderful dreams. I probably won’t see you until tomorrow morning; I’m so relaxed and satisfied. Let me say goodnight before I dose off." "Goodnight."
Mike- "Goodnight honey, you sleep well with me at your side."
Kim- "I will."

(All Mike could think about was how wonderful Kim was. How much she meant to him, how much he cared. As he sat back and thought about her last words, he couldn’t help but pray they stayed together. It was a wonderful relationship; just what he was looking for.)

As he reached for the power switch he thought to himself, "Maybe one day we’ll meet… one day."
(Mike turned off the computer, walked over to his bed and fell asleep)

Is Mike right, is this a relationship? Can you have a real love relationship with someone you haven’t met or known in real life? I don’t think so. I think these people are aching for something real but they don’t have the self-esteem to go out and meet people in the real world, they then fall into this cyber-world of "dating" and "relationships". Of course, some relationships can start this way, with an eventual meeting being the start of the real-life consummation. This is rare though, too many times we have seen friendships blossom into so-called online "relationships", only to end with someone giving up all his/her friends and personas to save themselves the embarrassment of realizing that they couldn’t even survive an online relationship, let alone a real one.

Maybe I’m being overly harsh of these people, kids will be kids right? Our problem is that many people are throwing away the chance at the real life excitement of feeling another’s touch for the first time, their lips gently pressing against their own whilst tongues entangle in a magical dance. You can’t taste someone online, you can’t see the color of someone’s eyes change when they get excited, you can’t feel their heart beating when your bodies press against each other. That’s real, real for all of us. If your idea of a relationship is anything like Mike and Kim’s, then you haven’t lived.