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NYC Cabs
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Being a Detroiter, my experience in cabs is pretty limited. The cabs here have mostly been ex-Detroit Police cars, which are usually owned by the police department until they are about dead, and then sold to a cab company. I remember being stopped at a red light once and a detroit cab sputtered up next to me and its front fender consisted of pieces of metal riveted together. Ralph Nader once famously described Detroit taxis as being on a par with those in the third world. This is a town founded upon the private automobile and that is what nearly everyone uses to get around. You can only get a cab on the street outside of the annual auto show or some downtown hotels. Anywhere else, you will have to call. And wait. Forever.
Recently I spent a few days in New York. None of my drivers spoke to me, not even when I told them where I wanted to go. They would just turn their head forward and start driving. The only thing I heard from them was the price of the fare at the end of the ride, with the exception of the guy that would try to pass on the right at intersections and then find himself blocked in behind parked cars. He'd yell "Shit! Fuck!" while trying to cut back in while pedestrians were jumping back from the curb.
But when I left for the airport my doorman flagged a cab in front of the Park Central and I hopped in. I told the cabbie to take me to La Guardia and he asked if I knew the price. I said "Its like $35" he started driving.
Cabbie: Where you from buddy?
Me: Detroit
Cabbie: That your girlfriend?
Me: No, just a friend I had lunch with today.
Cabbie: Ah, good. You are too young, you do not need girlfriend. Besides, New York, too much money my friend. Everything costs so much. You want the woman, you must have money. Its hard to find a job, things cost too much. What do you do?
Me: Work at an auto company
Cabbie: Ah, see? That is good. Yes. Can't do that here, no. Stay in Detroit. Many Armenians in Detroit, yes? Are you Armenian?
Me: Haha, no. Our company used to have a building here, but they don't own it anymore. But at one point in time I could have possibly worked here. I think Trump owns it now.
Cabbie: No no, Trump no own. He sell. I think it is law, must sell Manhattan building every seven years.
Me: I think he still owns it.
Cabbie: No, no friend. He only keep the main one. The others he buy and sell. Everyone think Trump so rich, he doesn't have that much money. The really rich people do not put their name on everything. See this construction? Jewish guys do this. But they don't put their name on, they keep their mouth shut. They are smart.
Me: I see
Cabbie: But Trump, he does have money. Just not what people think. He is smart though, Trump. Know why?
Me: Why?
Cabbie: New pussy. Trump get married, but every five years new wife. He enjoy life. Smart man. Not like Bloomberg. Bloomberg is faggot. Bloomberg have old pussy. I don't know what is problem. But to have woman is expensive in New York, must take out, buy dinners, flowers, forget it.
He turns off the meter.
Cabbie: Everybody hate us now. Cause the Bush. I don't vote for Bush, I am Democrat, but is New York, everyone is Democrat. Bush is liar. Europe hate us, France, everybody. The other day, I drive French in my cab. They get in, say 'take to hotel.' I never hear of hotel. I drive cab 20 years, but you know, sometimes hotel change name, sometimes hotel new, who knows. So I say what is by hotel? They don't know. Which way did you come, maybe we can find. I look in book, we have book with all hotels (waves book), not in book. We drive a few blocks, I say 'what hotel look like?' they don't know. French guy says 'why you talk like this?' I says 'I was not talking to you, I was talking to woman.' Fuck him, I did not talk to him, I talked to woman. Then he say "typical American, stupid" and get out of cab and leave open door. I don't need his money, fuck him, I don't care about the money. You want to get out of cab? Fuck you, get out. But you don't leave door open. So I get out of cab, and yell 'Fuck you French! You don't like this country why come here, fuck you go home.' Then I shut the damn door. But politics is bullshit my friend. It is all bullshit. Few weeks ago, I have Mayor of San Francisco in my car... you know?
Me: Yeah, Newsom.
Cabbie: Yes, um, (fumbles through wallet) Gavin, Gavin Newsom.
He hands me Newsom's business card.
Cabbie: He tell me, he say 'politics is all bullshit.' This from top guy, my friend.
Me: Yeah, he was in the news not long ago for marrying gays.
Cabbie: No no no my friend, no. He straight. He have beautiful woman.
Me: He was marrying them.
Cabbie: I tell you, he straight.
Me: He wasn't getting married to them, he was letting them marry each other.
Cabbie: Oh, yes. The gays. Gays want to be married. So what. What can we do my friend? There are so many. Let them marry, who gives a fuck. Most people don't know, we have more gays than San Francisco. Yes, many gays. But what can you do?
Me: nothing
Cabbie: Yeah. The gays, they want to adopt now, to have children. This is wrong. I am with Bush in this. I mean, two mothers with boy, maybe is ok. They have daughter, they teach to be lesbian, you know? But two men, with baby? No. This is wrong. You know, be gay, I don't care. Who gives a fuck. Maybe god make you that way, maybe you have mental sickness. But how will kid grow up like that? I like this about Bush, but he lied about Iraq.
Me: I just hope it works out ok, the elections go alright and it starts settling down.
Cabbie: Yes, I hope works out too. People need freedom. If Bush can fix, maybe won't be so bad. Like me, I drive you to airport right? If I crash cab, I am bad guy. But, if I crash cab AND still get you to airport, then I am not so bad guy.
We get to the airport and I ask how much. He acts surprised. "You say how much when start. $35." I give him the cash and a tip and catch my flight.
I boarded my plane and thought about what the cabbie had told me. The Mayor of San Francisco takes a fucking cab while Kwame Kilpatrick thinks he needs a convoy and multiple body guards everywhere he goes. No wonder Detroit sucks.
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