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Dirty Little Secrets
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I stumbled upon this website at http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. The idea is this, anyone can create a postcard revealing a secret that they hold inside, and send it (no not as an email attachment, I said postcard damnit! think stamps!) anonymously to the author of the website, where it will be shared with the world.
When I first glimpsed the site I can't say I was all that enthusiastic about spending much time there, but I must admit that I was quickly sucked in, and I read every postcard from the top of the page to the bottom. Now I know what you're thinking, "wow he read a whole page, give this guy a fucking medal", but this isn't a normal "page", this is like the Tour De France of webpages. As far as I can tell, the entirety of the website is conveniently presented on one single page, a plan I intend to incorporate right here on The Asylum.
So I read the postcards on the site. I thought some of them were funny, some sad, some clever, some even brought a tear to my eye. Yet, many were just crap that should've been eliminated to make room on the homepage for the good stuff, and we all know space is finite on the homepage. Bits and pieces of poems or songs or cliches, some blatantly fictional, pitiful suicidal cries for help, and some are just plain stupid, but all in all it was worth the read.
Some of the secrets were so powerful that I'll share them with you here.
This one speaks pretty clearly for itself, and I dedicate it to JEB Stuart. Seriously now, is there anyone who doesn't?
This reminds me of a joke from one of those Truly Tasteless joke books. It went something like this:
· Boy: "Mommy, I don't want to eat tomato soup again."
· Mom: "Shutup and eat, we only have it once a month!"
Men, I think the lesson is clear, don't eat soup.
At the risk of Smug Git calling me a savage, after all I pee in the shower, I admit that I almost never wash my hands after using the toilet. I mean, if I piss on my hands, sure i'll wash them, but otherwise what's the point? Because I touched my cock? It's not fucking diseased! I, like most men, adjust myself several times per day, and I urinate several times per day. This, coupled with masturbation, means I can touch my cock anywhere from 10 to 100 times per day, and i'm not going to wash my hands every time they touch my cock.
I included this one because it's just so... erotic. There's a very good chance this person will join The Asylum, if (s)he hasn't already.
And here are a couple more that didn't make that site:
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