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dogcow
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before it happened, it used to be different. i cared about everything and not in the overload sort of way but in the "tell me more" sort of way. but it sneaked up on me. i didn't know. no one knew and everyone was so clever after. but it was too late, it made no difference. what's done is done.
open and content. and everything just flowed freely, through me, leaving no marks, no scars, no traces. eternal and beautiful. and maybe it still does. and sometimes i feel it but mostly it's just time. time ruins everything. pisses on it like a dog would. we became friends and brothers. we became me but then estranged ourselves. i know and i can bring it back but i forget. i need to remember. i need to remember again.
starts and stops in spurs and squirts. robs me of pride. and maybe that's how it should be. maybe it's about balance and not unity, i don't know. maybe it's both or there is no difference. i try to force it and it pushes right back with the force i know is mine. i wonder if words are mine or just repeated. adopted orphans melted together. is it talks and songs and books speaking through me or the other way around. i don't know and i don't care. sometimes it doesn't need to be much. a women, a thought, a sleepless night is enough and too much to make it flow again and into the void and back into me. i give nothing to you and you give nothing to me and yet we exchange so much. we trade and bargain. back and forth. your juice, my juice. it flows into the void, onto paper, forming sound. our skins hurt together, burning holes through waves of ecstasy. patches of pain to make me remember. the night is unforgiving. it's yours and mine.
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