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God Farted Out My Family Tree
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It started out innocently enough. I emailed the following picture from the Last Supper thread to some folks that included my family:
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The subject of my email was "Sacrilege". The reply from one family member was as below (you have to read it with a thick southern Georgia accent):
_____________________________________________________
From: Godsnogger, Cousin
Sent: Monday, December 10, 2007 2:33 PM
To: fubar@fubaro.net
Subject: RE: Sacrilege
fubar,
Like you I am appalled that our Lord and Saviour has been mocked in this way. I remember when I was younger that everyone you knew was a devout Christian and walked hand in hand with Him. God's teachings have always been to turn the other cheek and practice mercy and kindness, but I am weary of watching my values and my Redeemer mocked in a way that no other religion has been expected to bear in such silence as Christians have been subjected to recently.
If we don't rally together now and confront these degradations, show a united front to the evil people who promulgate such violent and harmful images, the world will not be safe for our children, and our children's children to worship our Father God.
Thank you for warning us that a new attack was being made on everything that is good and righteous in this world.
Yours in Christ,
Cousin Godsnogger.
_____________________________________________________
Well, to say that I was a little taken aback by this is a bit of an understatement. I was certain that everyone in my family was aware that I no longer believed in ghosts when one year I returned all of their religious christmas cards, re-enveloped and included with a note that said:
"The religious precepts of your letter are known to be harmful to human life and and foster ignorance and intolerance among those who practice these beliefs. Please refrain from sending these materials as there are children in my house. Thank you."
Unsure how to respond to my god fearing family member, I emailed my cousin a photo of a woman in a habit pissing in her panties.
I have to go now. The phone is ringing. It's probably my mom.
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