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citation issued against minnesota man
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(ROOTERS--Pawtucket, R.I.) A citation to cease and desist was issued this morning by Federal Magistrate Joseph T. Jablowski, District Court of Rhode Island against a shadowy Minnesota man. Known in various cyber-circles as "dingle", his legal name is Roberto Quincy Johnsonstein, III. Authorities have requested that anyone with information as to his whereabouts contact the closest Federal Marshall's office.
Johnsonstein is alleged to have been attempting to market turds as toys under the name of "Mr. Pootato Head". Hasbro, Inc., owner of the famous "Mr. Potato Head" initiated the action after numerous complaints surfaced from various individuals and consumer groups. Last Saturday, acting upon an anonymous tip, the Sheriff's office in Milwaukee seized several Mr. Pootatos scattered about a clandestine factory situated in an old lavatory in the basement of an abandoned warehouse.
"I am simply amazed that anyone would have the gaul to sell his poop as toys. No. I take that back. I am DISGUSTED, that's what I am," said Ned Durphey of the Sheriff's toxic waste disposal unit. "It's just sick, that's what it is. Sick.", he continued.
The contraband was still warm when seized early Saturday.
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