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Life is good
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My aunt is dying.
I was never that close to her. She's from the crazy side of the family, but family nonetheless. She has battled breast cancer for years, and managed to see her first grandson grow to four. Her second is a few months from being delivered. Over the past year, the tumor spread to her lungs and bones putting her well past the point of continued surgery and chemo. Thursday before last she was writing checks for bills; she stood up and promptly fell down, talking nonsense. The tumor is now aggressively attacking her brain in its insidious maneuver of replication. I went to visit her in the hospital last weekend. It was almost beautiful in a way, hearing the result of random synapse firing from her brain. It was pure and unfiltered, like a child that has yet to learn the art of social subtlety. Her words were random, but connected in a way that would almost seem like they came from a wise zen monk.
My sister's fetus is dead.
I just found out about an hour ago. Apparently stopped growing and gave up on beating its heart sometime in the past few weeks. She was perhaps eight or nine weeks in. She had previously vowed to abstain from baby-making, and then shocked us all when she got a divorce and remarried this past year. They wasted no time in this department. I feel we're already beyond the earth's carrying capacity for our population and lifestyle, yet the idea of being an uncle excited me even though i'm fifteen hundred miles from her.
What an odd series of events that has occurred to bring us to this point of living and dying. I feel like going for a long drive to try to figure some of it out, but I'm already kind of drunk. My CD player isn't working either. Fuck.
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Come over to my cube one more time, you whiny little bitch, and I'll smack your head so hard your hair-coloring will come right off. I know our jobs suck. I know our manager is a dick. I don't need you to come over and bitch about every little thing that he asks you to do and every little problem you encounter. If you would just shut the fuck up and do it instead of making the rounds to tell every person in our group how ridiculous this request is, you'd be fucking done and could put it behind you. How the hell do you manage to get nothing done all day and keep your job?
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