|
I lie on the floor with my legs stretched out behind me, propped up on my elbows with pen in hand. Not a word written on the page before me, not even a single letter. The notebook is filled with thoughts & dreams formed into stories, yet none of them seem quite good enough to share. I stare past the blank page into the fire. I watch as the flames dance throughout the enormous stone fireplace. As I lie there I daydream. Trying to spark a source of inspiration, for I can't write something I don't feel. I look up at the pictures placed on the mantel. Those of my family and friends. Losing myself in the past. Replaying wonderful memories in my mind. So close I swear I can smell the scent of the chlorine that lingered on our swimsuits after hours spent at my Aunt's pool in the summertime. I roll onto my back and close my eyes. I think of my younger sister, Colleen. How I remember when she was a baby. All of the nights I spent in the Children's hospital with my mother as she paced the long white corridors. I remember the mobile my Dad would wind every night before he left, how it played a sweet lullaby. I remember how he would pretend he was coughing to cover the sounds of his cries when it was time for him to go. I think of how lucky I have been throughout my life. Lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful friends and a loving family, including little Colleen who is now a smart-ass 19 yr old. How close we came to losing her. I can't imagine my life without her in it. Standing up, I stretch before walking into the living room and over to the phone. I dial that familiar number, listening to it ring until I hear the voice I was searching for. Colleen answers, obviously having checked the Caller ID, remarks "We don't want any." I laugh as the tears begin to stream down my cheeks. "I just wanted to call and say that I love you."
| 