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Woman With A Camera
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(cont.)
INT. PENTHOUSE
The statue 'watches' through the window of the room as the merriment continues.
EXT. URBAN STREET
A HAND reaches through the statue's ZIPPER and presses a DOORBELL.
INSERT: A BELL RINGS...
INT. PENTHOUSE
...and captures the attention of Capone who spots the statue. The libation stops.
CAPONE
HA-HAAA, Poor Boy Noonan's
mama's been reading him the
classics again.
Machine guns in hand, the gang takes aim. Capone barks an order. A cigar, barely, hangs on the edge of his lips.
CAPONE
BURN IT A NECKLACE, BOYS!
INT. CAPONE STATUE
Pleiades' POV- the minions scope the effigy.
PLEIADES
Can't anyone graciously accept
a gift these days? (screaming)
GET DOWN!
Four figures tumble through the small squeezed space. GUNFIRE BURSTS rip HOLES through the top section of the statue and SPEARS OF LIGHT thrust through.
EXT. URBAN STREET
The wounded statue stands silent.
PLEIADES (OS)
You guys oka....what th..
ROAR of a train approaches.
KA-BAMMMM! A TORNADO blindsides the effigy.
Screams blare from the statue as it is driven to the top of the funnel. 'Capone' rides the twister like 'Pecos Bill' down drenched city streets.
SOPHIE (OS)
(indignantly)
BUT, I AM ZE GRANDDAUGHTER OF
EUGENE DELACROIXAHHHHHHH!
The 'train roar' dopplers away and evolves into...
INT. FUNERAL HOME
...screaming PEOPLE run for the exit doors of a FUNERAL HOME knocking COFFINS and CORPSES onto dirty floors. The room empties of the living except for teenager, LUCY DELANEY. She looks slightly out of focus from the PROJECTOR LIGHT dancing across her face and into GREEN EYES.
On a SCREEN of stitched together SHROUDS, Lucy watches the Lumiere Brothers' short film, 'TRAIN PULLING INTO A STATION'.
EXT. CHANGING LANDSCAPE
'Pecos Al' barrels through the storm, down city streets, and into a suburban landscape.
PLEIADES (OS)
(screaming)
WHERE THE HELL IS THE RUDDER?
HELLO (OS)
Did it look like I was building
the Yankee Clipper?
The Capone tornado bullets through the thundering landscape, from rural plains to hilly regions. The funnel picks up man-made OBJECTS, FLORA, and FAUNA, dropping some and smashing others. Sophie screams from the effigy.
SOPHIE (OS)
I AM ZEE GRANDDAUGHTER OF
EUGENE DELACROIX AND I 'AVE
BEEN DESCRIBED IN PUBLICATION!
EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER
Sweating WORKERS stand before a steaming LOCOMOTIVE with a 'W' painted on it's side. The orange glow of the coal burning engine backlights a monster of a MAN holding a SLEDGEHAMMER. He pounds the hammer in his hand, counting off time passing.
EXT. GREAT PLAINS
The storm rolls in around the second engine with a painted 'E' on it's side. The red glow of the furnace backlights another monster of a MAN holding a PIC AXE. He is unfazed, even bored, by the storm and twirls the axe restlessly.
WORKERS cower under the train as sixty-mile per hour winds blow debris everywhere. The Camera Man remains stationed at the viewfinder while an ASSISTANT fights to lay a long, PAPER STRIP beside the tracks. Pieces of the coated paper whip up as he tries to light it.
CAMERA MAN
(screaming over the wind)
WE'VE GOT A FINE, FINE HELL
HERE, BOY!
WHOOOSH!
The fire burns horizontally from the gusts.
Panoramic photograph of SEVEN furious TORNADOES ripping up the landscape.
EXT. CHANGING LANDSCAPE
The Capone tornado rips through the wind and rain. Trees, cattle, billboards, and houses weave through the funnel.
PLEIADES (OS)
DO SOMETHING, FLYER!
HELLO (OS)
(calmly)
Oh, okay Pleiades, hold on, just
let me press this big, red button,
for a LEFT AT ALBEQUERQUE!
TAPPING SOUNDS on wood.
HELLO (OS)
(snickering)
Buzz-a-dee-buzz, buzzzz.
SILENCE.
KA-BOOOOOM!
The statue blasts from the funnel and hurtles towards the earth with it's screaming passengers.
EXT. DELANEY FARM
The statue spirals down from the monster storm cell. It hurtles through a forest of 80-foot PONDEROSA PINE TREES, some tied with RIBBONS around their trunks, and crashes through the Elm windbreaks, lobbing ornaments everywhere.
Barreling at a 45 degree angle, the FEET of the effigy carve parallel tracks through the cropfields, spraying ravaged produce everywhere. They burn off from the friction, and the statue comes to a rest on it's knees in the cornfield. It bobbles back and forth, then a little less, until finally, silence.
The storm moves from the area and a starry night backlights the still statue.
EXT. MAIN STREET, SWEETWATER - NIGHT
A luxury 1928 SUIZA CABRIOLET cruises down the wet Main Street. The sedan is the only vehicle on the road. CITIZENS watch as the posh vehicle splashes by.
Sweetwater is a typical American town of the late 1920's; a Woolworths, Standard Oil, Safeway Grocery, a soda fountain, and all the amenities which make up a small community. Sweetwater just ain't as 'perty' as it's name suggests. It's a sepia-stained village slowly fading into history under a layer of coal dust, 50 years thick.
The car drives towards a BOWLING HALL.
INT. BOWLING ALLEY
A GROUP OF RICHLY-ATTIRED MEN bowl.
Liam, with a BOWLING BALL chained to each leg, sits at a table with Devin. Devin spins a PAPER DISC, with images of a CROSSBILL BIRD and a CAGE on either side, on the table. As it rotates, the bird appears to be caged.
DEVIN
It'll take nothing short of an
Inquisition to get the Delaney
acreage.
Liam moves uncomfortably in his chair as a bowling ball rolls away. He powers the shackled leg back under the table.
LIAM
Ah, I think the federal policy
of eminent domain will be suf-
ficient. (laughing uneasily)
Certainly it would mean less
fatalities, right?
DEVIN
Yes...just. W and E are on my
ass. We gotta move fast before
the gov annexes it for BN.
FLASH OF LIGHTENING.
CRASH OF THUNDER.
The Monsignor places his petite size six BOWLING SHOES on a bench. Devin greets him.
DEVIN
Welcome, please.
Devin gestures for the Monsignor to sit. He obliges and puts his bowling shoes on.
MONSIGNOR
Thank-you, Mr. Haffner. I
hear I'm in for quite the
visual feast.
Devin snaps his fingers and the group of Men shuffle over carrying a giant table holding something covered by a TARP. Liam cannot see past the group as Devin performs his best snake-oil salesman impersonation.
DEVIN
Constantine had Constantinople,
Charlemagne had Aixla-Chappele,
Jerome...had Rome. The citizens
of Sweetwater DESERVE the pat-
ronage of a GREAT MAN!
The Monsignor appears cautious.
MONSIGNOR
Mr. Haffner, while I've no doubt
you're exceptional in your field...
Devin cuts him off.
DEVIN
BEHOLD!
Devin rips the tarp off. The Monsignor gasps.
DEVIN
THE LOURDES OF THE NEW WORLD!
The Monsignor rises from the bench as a wash of DIVINE LIGHT falls upon his ecstatic face.
MONSIGNOR
It's, it's beauty manifest,
it's the WORD made...
Liam tries to see through the crowd but cannot. He appreciates the Monsignor's aesthetic arrest, so Liam gently offers.
LIAM
Flesh, Monsignor?
A TEAR runs down the Monsignor's cheek.
MONSIGNOR
(hard swallow)
No, RHINESTONES!
A hugh crystal, gold, and ruby MODEL of a sanctified Disneyland flouresces atop the table. Liam is confused and slides over to get a closer look. There is complete silence except for the sound of Liam's bowling balls roll-arcing around his ankle.
MONSIGNOR
Is it mine?
DEVIN
The good book does promise
His kingdom to come, but I
can deliver this one now, for
a price, or in this case, a
parcel.
The Monsignor devours the model as he runs his hands erotically over its' surface. Devin stands close behind the Monsignor, the many faceted jewels reflect only Devin's image.
MONSIGNOR
(seething)
One manservant, ruins to live
in and daily deliveries of red
humor, to my door no less. With
this, I'd be the Patriarch of
the Occident.
The Monsignor walks around the table contemplating the palace. He faces Devin and extends his dealmaking hand.
MONSIGNOR
Think of me as a business part-
ner in a chusable.
DEVIN
And you may consider me a
shaman with an expense account.
EXT. DELANEY FARM - DAY
DAWN. The sun rises from behind a range of hills.Ornaments, organic debris, and squashed CATTLE litter the landscape.
SUNRAYS illuminate the storm-ravaged face of the cigar-chomping statue. It rocks a little, then a little more, then alot.
PLEIADES (OS)
God...everyone alright?
Exhausted rumblings of 'yep'.
DZIGA (OS)
My nuts, dammit.
KNOCKING ON WOOD
The statue rocks tumultously.
PLEIADES (OS)
Shit!
A fierce kick sends a PLANK falling down between the effigy's legs.
A MONSTER PHALLUS
Pleiades slides down the plank and lands with finesse. She brushes dirt off her baggy black clothes then slaps away encroaching cornstalks.
PLEIADES
Christ...
Dziga rushes down the plank and takes a deep breath. He sees the forest of maize.
DZIGA
(looking around)
Unless Capone's got a SHUCKING
fetish, this ain't his sitting
room.
A SILVER FLASK tumbles down the ramp. Hello rolls down after the treasure, snapping it up as a river of sweat rolls down her face. Pleiades rushes to her side.
PLEIADES
(to Dziga)
GET THE KIT, SHE'S IN SHOCK!
Hello pulls off her Bowler hat and reveals a sweating BAG OF ICE on her head.
HELLO
(laughing)
Naw, just one helluva hangover.
She takes a swig from the flask, passes it to Dziga then takes out a CIGARETTE LIGHTER, flicks it open and hands it to Pleiades.
PLEIADES
Ah, thanks, but I'll take the
good stuff.
Hello hands her a LIPSTICK TUBE and Pleiades sips from the small object.
They venture into the cornfield. The Capone statue 'lords' over the field as three paths of rustling crops move away from the effigy.
SOMETHING tumbles down and lands on top of the stalks.
SOPHIE (OS)
I am zee granddaughter of...
oh hell.
EXT. DELANEY COMPOUND-MOMENTS LATER
The Delaney compound comes into view.
A GARDEN OF EDEN
Winded, Sophie emerges from the corn curtain. She has seen it all, until now.
SOPHIE
Zis is some sort of botanical
mecca, no?
HELLO
ONLY if there's a bathtub
Virgin Mary.
Sophie pulls out a BROWNIE CAMERA.
SOPHIE
I must document these specimans!
PLEIADES
(dryly)
You got 15 minutes 'cause I'm
betting tresspassing in hill-
billy country is tried in their
root cellars.
Pleiades explores the odd, yet beautiful homestead. Dziga lights up a cigarette and tosses the match into some BUSHES, it ignites. A beautiful blue flame surrounds the flower cluster, Dziga jumps back. Sophie runs over.
DZIGA
It fuckin' scorched my leather.
SOPHIE
Ze plants' defense mechanism,
perhaps?
The flame snuffs out. Dziga rips the plant out of the soil and holds it up, a trophy kill.
DZIGA
Not a very successful strategy
now, is it?
Boing-Boing shouts from afar.
BOING-BOING (OS)
SOPHIE!
EXT. ANOTHER AREA OF DELANEY FARM
Boing-Boing kneels over something as Pleiades stands behind her. Sophie walks up behind them. They all look quizzically towards the ground.
PLEIADES
Last I heard, those topped
the tip of Gabriel's sceptar.
The French haven't come up
with a new hybrid, have they?
Sophie bends over to a BED OF FLORIC ODDITIES which look like crystal Fleur-de-lis'. She picks one.
SOPHIE
(confused)
There are no such things as
organic fleur-de-lis', ze are
a stylistic representation of
either a lily or an iris.
Sophie examines the prismatic 'flower' closely.
PLEIADES
Seems pretty real to me.
SOPHIE
(a little surprised)
Considering that crystalline
silicates are the most abun-
dant minerals on earth, it is
not surprising to come across
lifeforms which appropriate these
substances in peculiar ways.
Sophie hands the sample back to Pleiades who holds it up as the sun rises, fully, over a distant hill and illuminates the whole valley.
The light hits the fleur-de-lis, refracts across the area and sends rainbow rays traveling to a nearby FENCE where a ROOSTER sleeps.
The light hits the Rooster.
ROOSTER
ER-ER-ERRRRRRRR.
INT. ROOTCELLAR
Amongst boxes and jars of FOODSTUFFS, a variety of painted PORTRAITS hang or lie against the walls.
ROOSTER (OS)
Er-er-errrrrrr.
John and Lucy, both asleep on the floor, wake up, distinguishing themselves from the static paintings.
CUT TO
INT. DELANEY HOUSE
John and Lucy walk through the house checking for storm damage. He peers out the window and sees the Capone Statue, then the carved 'tracks' as a result of the effigy's arrival. He pulls back, angry.
JOHN
LUCY! GET ME FIGHTEN' GLOVES!
Lucy grabs a pair of BOXING GLOVES hanging from a NAIL in the wall. She runs over and hands them to John who slaps them from her hands.
JOHN
NAW GIRL!
John reaches towards a SHELF and grabs a pair of BRONZED BOXING GLOVES.
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