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And then there was Robin
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Continuing in the theme of my blogs...
It was my senior year of college. I was still living in the dorms (mostly due to the really nice ethernet connection). I had a habit of leaving the door open while I was in, partly because I like watching people, but also for some weird hope that someone might want to talk to me.
One day I was doing something on the computer, I think chatting in #wota, when I heard a knock on the door. I looked up to see a very attractive young blonde standing there. I recognized her as a freshman in the dorms, as I'd passed by her a few times, but never spoken to her. I went to the door and said hi, and asked her what she wanted (nicely, though). She seemed really nervous, but she was smiling, and she gave me a blow pop. Confused, I asked her what it was for, but she didn't say anything, just shook her head. I asked if she was giving them out to everyone (sometimes people would do that, for some purpose or another). She again shook her head. After about 10 minutes of standing there trying to figure out what it was all about, I eventually just thanked her and sat back down, and she left.
Skip forward about a week or so, I get a knock on the door. I open it to see her standing there again. I ask her what's up, and she starts talking about a couple parking tickets she had gotten. I express my sympathies, and we chatted for a bit, but I was really confused as to why she was knocking on my door about it. I was beginning to suspect that she might be interested in me, but as it was around the end of my senior year, and I was planning on going home after graduation, I told myself I didn't really want to complicate things with a relationship or some such bullshit. Anyway, I told that to myself and put her out of my mind.
Another week or so later, and I run into her on my way back from dinner. She was on her way out to dinner, and asked if I wanted to join her. Had I not just eaten, I probably would have agreed. I'm still not quite sure why I didn't at least keep her company while she ate, but I didn't. I did feel a little guilty on that respect, as I was at that point almost certain she liked me, though I could not (and still can't) think of any reason why, given that we'd never really spoken before she started showing up at my door, and I'm not exactly the sort that can attract girls on my looks alone.
She may have tried one more time before graduation, but I can't remember for certain.
After graduation, when I was moving my things out of the dorm, she showed up and said hi, and offered to help. The picture below was taken then. Since I couldn't fit it in my car, I gave her my fridge. I also gave her my home address, and she gave me hers (and her phone number). And then I left.
Last May, she sent me an invitation to her graduation party, which dad forwarded to me here in CA. As it was the day I was already scheduled to fly home, I called her to let her know I couldn't make it to the party. We talked for a while, catching up, and (surprisingly) she was still interested in me. Dad had suggested I fly out to visit her over the weekend before I flew home, and she also suggested something similar while we spoke, but for whatever reason I'm still not quite sure of, I didn't want to. So I just wished her well and congratulated her on graduation, and haven't spoken with her since.
Even now I'm not entirely sure why I kept ignoring her very clear interest in me. She's a very sweet girl, and undeniably attractive. I just kept coming up with reasons not to make a move, and I know (and even then I knew) that they were complete bullshit. And that's why I probably regret my behavior with regards to Robin more than any other.
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