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can i touch you?
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i was assaulted at the weekend. no visual scars but i now feel shaky about it.
i am looking after a friend whose partner is dying in hospital, any day now. i'm doing her shopping, and general support stuff. she lives on a housing estate known for occasional racial troubles.
walking thru the estate on sunday, i guess i was fairly occupied, a girl on a mission, my tiny frame on brisk auto-weave thru the flak. then her face appears suddenly, blocking my view, eyes hooked into mine. "can i touch you?" she asked. i slowed to move sideways, asking "wha-?" "can i touch you tho?" this time with more distaste i think, and her hand came up to follow me and started ramming firm and fast into my cheek, "can i TOOUUCH-". my face sprang back, my arm swung up and smashed her hand hard back into her face. my mometum pushed me on past as she crouched to the floor. the whole thing took maybe less than five seconds, like i had swatted a huge bee out of my path. i had too much on to worry about it.
but altho i did not stop, i looked back, saw her holding her mouth, watching me. her eyes looked hurt and terrified and confused, as if she did not know what had happened to her. i thought that should've been my expression. instead, i felt like the cold mercenary warrior she had apparently accused me of being.
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i look the opposite of a warrior: i'm tiny-framed and have that blonde and slightly sweet-dopey-happy look. i have a 'mental condition' that occasionally makes me lose track of where or who i am. and i'm told i have a sunny 'aura' that attracts people toward me. often these people are a bit...strange. i have had to learn to take care, discipline and protect myself. but sometimes funny things break thru. ---- but i like to be open. to adventure and. it's hard to keep a balance.
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i felt so bad for her. i'm not sure if i'm now imagining this but i believe i've seen her before, exchanged smiles, possibly a sexy smile. she's kinda good-looking, healthy skin. a few hours later i went back to the spot and waited a while. i asked at a local shop if they'd seen it happen, knew who she was. but no. they told me to phone the police.
ummm. i'm looking for something in this. i don't know what.
i'm having trouble connecting in here.
CAN I TOUCH YOU?
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