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skalie
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Wembley Stadium. I was a lugger, as in local crew, roadie without the road.
It was scaffolding time, Wembley Stadium was allowed to put on eight shows a summer, or something, decreed by the Haringhey council, or something. Made for shitty light shows incidently, the excess of daylight.
Anyway, scaffolding is cool, loads of hours, and you got fed, better than travelling to the other side of London to get paid 15 quid for a 5 hour load in, or worse, get stranded the other side of London after a 5 hour load out.
So there I was laying out scaffold bars and I notice, "heh? 15 on that side, 14 on this side?" We're about two flights up, I check, double check then mention to one of the ring leaders, "er, is the stage meant to be symetrical?"
All work stops, the stage has to be rebuilt, recenterred and relevelled, we get to eat.
Heard the big boss ask the ring leader "Did you spot that?", "No, one of the loaders"
Cunt, he could have pointed me out, I may have got a promotion.
Michael Jackson mimes btw.
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So there I was taking the dog down to water with a tennis ball.....
Mimizan Plage, French Atlantic Coast middle of summer, the car had just died big time, as in the driveshafts had dislocated themselves from the front wheel driven gearbox, rust bucket that it was, still what a place to break down, sunsets, naked euro-chicks, street theatre, tuna steaks and olives from the market.
........so "her outdoors" comes and says in my ear (I'm deaf as a goat) there's some German woman yelling "Helfer".
"Helfer?".
"That's german for 'help' "
"Oh"
I spot the fraulein about 5 meters looking distressed. OK, skalie to the rescue, the waves were biggish, but I'd been body-surfing in them all week.
"No, no, my husband" she remarks when I get to her.
About 30 meters in is a chubby German chap getting dragged out by the stream.
I'm like committed at this point, so out I head. Manage to get him in, bouncing on the bottom, dragging him by his hand, teaching him how to catch waves, only had to let him go once.
The whole affair lasted about 20 minutes, I then had to return to the relatively easy task of rescuing the fraulein, who was still stuck in a hole.
I go back to my beer stash and watch the Germans explain themselves to the lifeguards who have finally turned up. In a bit they come by, organise a rendezvous for the next day, then pass out on the sand.
Me and her outdoors ponder the idea that we may have just saved some millionaires.
Next day we're there quite early, take the dog down to the water with the tennis ball....
"No no swim, la morte" says a naked french lady.
"Que?"
"Une persoon, le corpse"
Heh? I look towards the ocean, indeed there's something floating, after a "fuck this can't be happening" second thought, I'm striding through the waves again in superskalie mode.
This one's a lot heavier, pretty much knew I was dealing with dead weight from the start, still drag him in, give him a bit of the old mouth-to-mouth, he vomitted up paella I believe it was, not long after the lifeguards arrived and eventually a helicopter..............
..........and then some very bouncy Germans with a cooler full of champers..........."Er, Heinrich, see that helicopter?"
A mixture of emotions to say the least, drank the Germans alcohol for three days, found another car, fucked off.
Apologies to those that have had to read that story before.
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