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wonderaz
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Ahhhh yes... it seems like it was only 84 years ago that the first official car bomb went off.
Wait, it was 84 years ago. 40 dead and close to 300 injured right in good ole NYC.
It seems like that city has been blown up a lot.
So what do I suggest we all do about it?
Blow up Iran? no
Invade Belize? well yes but for other reasons
Elect a Democrat? NO!!
What I suggest is to leave the City. If you live there, move. If you don't live there, don't move there. This is the best way to defeat the terrorists.
Please don't move to Arizona though, move to Kansas.
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To be politically correct, we will omit any possibly offensive words from the news.
A very special bit of news for this ********* season is that our favorite fucking freak, Jacko, has become a Muslim (it's politically correct to say Muslim) and has joined his almost as freaky brother, Germaine, as a member of the Nation of Islam (it's politically correct to say Islam) or whatever Farrakam's boy's club is called.
I had no idea that white guys could join that group.
Did you know that the average human supposedly shits about 2 feet worth every day?
Can you save that up?
Like, every Saturday blow out 14 feet?
Usama Bin Ladin is still missing. Why has no one put his face on a milk carton?
Tony Blair has become rather 9-10 so the British are digging Diana up.
Did Dodi know that she liked bacon?
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*John Muhammed is found guilty!!! duh
*Bush likes protesters!!! ummm
*Souffle contest at the Asylum!! (everybody pm melon)
*Points are back but they are now called something different!!
*Asylum resturant now open in Jerome, AZ!!! ferreals
*Blair may become new Sec of State when Bush gets a second term!
*Rush appeals to listeners for understanding and a hairpiece!
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Our dear Dingle will be institutionalized later on today. We will post a report on his status once he has sobered up enough to be tranquilized and the doctors can assess his mental state. Film at 10.
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Tomorrow is the day that 225 years ago, give or take one or two, that those silly colonists sent a little note to the British Royal Family that they were to basically piss off. The Brits, humorless lot that they are, replied by shelling the hell out of a few towns and then, to top it all off, sent a bunch of guys dressed up in scary red coats (with tails) and big assed ole hats to march up and down the roads so the silly colonists would use up a bunch of their ammo shooting the shit out of them from the trees and shrubs along side the road.After awhile, the Brits tired of getting all shot up and cruised over to India so they could sit on elephants and kill tigers, which was much more fun than getting shot up by the silly, sneaky colonists.Left to their own devices, the colonists just ran amok and years later completed Disneyland which made them the most powerful nation in the history of the Universe according to themselves.And that is pretty much the whole story.Happy Co-dependence day, America!!!!
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The Asylum has been asked to join the Witness Relocation Program. We will be receiving a steady flow of new members who for various reasons, will be making up shit about themselves. These people are not necessarily criminals but we would ask that you do not hold that against them.There will be the occasional sudden disappearance of some of these members and it is requested that you pretend like they never existed.Now, back to your regularly scheduled programs.
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Wandering around as I occasionally do, I happened upon a site that kind of grabbed me. At first, I thought Fat Willie's House of Links was a site where I could order some good old pork sausage but found out I would have to settle for more Italian food. Go click on the link on the Asylum Extra list in the first column, he just might change your whole outlook on fat willies.
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Well, good ole Anti is finally recovering from his near fatal cpu meltdown. I went cruising and found the little phuker is well on his way back to explaining to all of us just how incredibly phuked up it all is. When you post in the forum, try to watch your language for the next week or so. He is giving a virtual tour to the kids from the CrackBabiesRus Online Daycare. Help him make a good impression as Anti is truly trying to turn over a new leaf.
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Seriously! All you have to do to win it is be there to collect the money on January 1, 2150. According to the AP, two scientists have established a trust fund to see if someone can live to be 150 years old. One of them figures that with modern technology, that this could happen. the only catch is that you have to be aware of your surroundings. That puts Spooky out of the running, I'm afraid.
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Well, I found out where Haxorblade has been hiding. He has been building up his site, http://www.nonlight.com, which happens to be an Asylum of sorts for a group that rescues spent killer bees. I may have that wrong but it's late, so bugger off. Ahhh, get it? bees... bugger... Damn I'm funny when I'm half asleep.
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